Lived Experience Forum

[Turmoil]

Hi Everyone, 

I just wanted to share my experience with what I have been through in the last 4 weeks. 

If you read my last post you would see that I was Super Super hyperaroused (and then counter-reactive hypoaroused) and was struggling with HUGE anxiety, dissociation, panic, neediness, etc. and etc. 

I did get help... and I'm still getting help but I just wanted to let you know what I've accepted now, and that is this is a journey. Here's an anology that I've thought up that makes sense to me. 

Trauma is Like CANCER.... 

Once you've had Trauma you can NEVER be rid of it... but it CAN go into remission.  There are Soooo many different variations of cancer, just like there are so many different variations of trauma and there is not just one treatment that fixes all.  It's complex.  There are so many factors to consider... there are so many different forms... but the important thing is that you DO NOT SIT BACK AND IGNORE IT otherwise you might just find that you are in the last stages of cancer... (and we all know where that heads).  It's a horrible disease (like Trauma can feel) but it's a reality. And the way to treat it will depend on the individual... I chose to deal with mine through a psychologist, others may deal with medication through a psychiatrist, some may have counselors, others may use their friends and loved ones.  The process is not the answer, it's the progress that is... 

So I have Trauma in my life... a 'cancer' that happened over 25 years ago.. I've let it fester and block it up, thinking I could deal with it on my own, that it's a thing of the past... problem is that is was festering into my other organs (parts of my life) and I hadn't become aware of it until someone said "has trauma inpacted that part of your life"... it was a huge realisation and awakening and my "cancer"/trauma became VERY aggresive.  I nearly gave in to it.  But thankfully to a supportive network of partner/forums/helplines/friends I made the decision to seek treatment.  And now I'm on a journey of self discovery, self awareness and learning new things about me and myself... 

So I just wanted people to know... it's not easy... it's not quick... you're not crazy... you're not alone.... 

I'm happy to keep posting here with what I've been through (still going through) and any advice or questions to help, and I welcome any advice. 

Thanks for reading. 

[Turmoil]

So a down day today.... 

not quite sure why but having lots of self doubt and hard on myself.... went to bed last night feeling down and woke a few times with upset tummy and toilet issues... it’s amazing how much your inner thinking affects your body. Wish I could just think it away. I suppose there is truth in ‘the healing of positive thinking’. 

I’ll get through it, I have my coping skills, some are not so good but none are bad.  ‘Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, think I’ll go eat worms....’. Not true of course but eat worms I will anyway (metaphorically). Deal with the squiggly tummy, wrap up in a blanket and rest.... I’ll be okay, because I have a plan.....,  

[Ochre]

Hi @Turmoil

Thanks for sharing some of your story and thoughts around trauma.

I'm keen to hear other forum users thoughts, experiences and strategies on this too...

Ochre

[Turmoil]

Yes, please comment, I’m keen to hear your analogies or stories of how you look at ‘dealing’ with issues of complex trauma.... 

but also happy to answer some questions.... after all the best way forward is through understanding.