Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Purple1]

My partner has just been diagnosed with bipolar 1 I think it is.. the worse one they said.
Prior to the last couple of weeks I really didn't know anything about bipolar. I'd really love to hear from others about their experiences with it like with medication and treatment will everything be ok? Will treatment make everything safe? His medical team today said quite a few things that made me so unsure on everything including if he will be ok once released from hospital.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Purple1

My husband has a working diagnosis of bipolar 2 (different to but not worse than BP1 less highs, more depressive than BP1).

If I understand rightly from what you had written you have possibly just had a first episode mental health crisis. This can often be a confusing and bewildering time.

BP is a major psychiatric disorder and it is imperative that you understand it. It is associated with poor treatment response, a chronic relapsing nature and can put a strain on the best of relationships.

The purpose of medication is to stabilize the moods, that is the ups and downs, medically these are referred to mania and depression.
Medication will not cure BP. In many patients it can take a while to get the medications right. Meds are only part of the equation, to keep BP moods stable and achieve remission, lifestyle choices and changes are necessary. Adequate sleep, limiting or keeping off alcohol and staying on meds are just three things many patients have difficulty with.

I noticed you ask if treatment will make everything safe. I do not know what your situation is, if your partner was depressed or manic, what they were doing that was unsafe. There are no guarantees the doctors can give but if adequately treated any risks a patient has are substantially reduced.

All of this is an emotional roller coaster for the carer and all but impossible to do on your own. Supporting a patient with BP is hard work and I urge you to get support for yourself and learn good coping mechanisms early on. There are mental health carer support groups, Wellways, and Carers Australia are a couple of them. Sane have a support line and they can also offer help and support. They have info on bipolar as to other mental health support sites.

The treating team are being realistic. The road ahead will likely be tough.

It is possible to live well in spite of a mental health diagnosis but it takes a lot of work for both the patient and non patient.

Darcy

[Former-Member]

Hey @Purple1

How are you going? Can I assure you that you are not alone.

The emotions that you are going through are all too familiar to many of us on the forum.

I felt ill-equipped, overwhelmed, helpless and inadequate when my husband Mr Darcy went through a major crisis.

Please keep posting, vent when you need to.

We understand.

Darcy
PS I know I was blunt but realistic in my first reply. I was not given this practical information early on and it would have saved a lot of heartache for me if I had of been.

[Purple1]

Thank you for replying!
Blunt is what I want! My partner has had a couple of really bad episodes which landed him forced into hospital and diagnoses, which they are now saying they think he has both type one and two of bipolar. I'm still feeling extremely overwhelmed and unsure on everything. The drs looking after him have made their diagnoses over the span of a weekend with very little background history yet are saying that they don't believe he should be allowed back to our home due to how bad his episode was and our four young children but at the same time are saying with the right treatment he should have it at a somewhat under control level once worked out. They are keeping him in hospital for two weeks and there isn't much information or support being offered, they keep saying that comes once he's discharged. The drs and nurses will not say to him that they don't think he should be at our home, they're only saying it to me when he's not there and telling me I need to end the relationship and basically hide from him which is not at all what I want to do. I would like to try to support him whilst being safe. I'm really struggling with understanding it all and the lack of help and information that the hospital is offering and how quickly they are diagnosing him with the two types with very little background as well.
Sorry if I'm not making much sense, been a bit of a mess!

[Former-Member]

Hey @Purple1

The hospital will have a social worker and should have information for carer support.

You talk about the need to be safe. I do not want to assume anything wrongly but if there is domestic violence I urge you to get help and do it while you can, if not and you do not know the reason why, I would ask the doctors why they are telling you what they are.

Diagnosis for bipolar is based on history of symptoms looking at highs and lows I don't believe you can have both 1 and 2 at the sane time but could be wrong.

Bipolar 1 highs often involve one or more of three S's - Sex, spending and substance abuse (alcohol-drugs), it involves risky behaviors that damage relationships and reputation. Some patients do illegal things whilst high as they think they are indestructible. They inflate their own importance and can spend savings and max out credit cards. BP ii highs are more an elevated mood and is often missed and can be mistaken for life of party type personality.
The lows are similar, depressed, suicidal ideations (thinking of self harm) and some do attempt. BPii lows are longer and more frequent so patient is more at risk of harming themselves.

Each state has its own rules regarding communication with families and carers. Hopefully the doctors have got permission from your man to speak with you.

Communication and information are two things many carers and family members feel is lacking. I had to look things up myself and I now demand clear communication. Write down questions and ask them, if you don't understand the terms they are using, ask them to explain things in lay persons terms, ask them where you can get information and support. Ensure you understand, put their sentences into your own words and ask them if you have understood right.

I had a situation where safety was a problem. It involved my husband grabbing the steering wheel whilst I was driving...

Wellways have a "building a future" program which is mental health education and support for carers and families. If you are close to a major city there are a lot of supports available, if you are rural it is not so easy.

This Qld website was really helpful for me (even though I am not in Q).

http://mhr4c.com.au

Darcy

[Former-Member]

Hey @Purple1

How are you doing?

Darcy