Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[BipolarPartner]

My partner broke up with me last night. His mania came on suddenly and it culminated in him saying horrible things and telling me it's over. <br>I agreed that I would leave and it's now been nearly 24 hours with no contact from him. I assume he's gone to work as normal today but I don't know as I left to stay at my parents house<br>I desperately want him to message and tell me he's sorry, like he has so many times before but I'm worried that this is now the end. We've never spent a night apart in anger since we've been together. <br>We've been together for 6 years in April.<br>Advice? Reassurance? I'm desperate.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @BipolarPartner .....

I don't have the same sort of circumstances as you, but I am a carer for a husband with a "hidden" mi in the form of an eating disorder.  

I just wanted to touch base with you so you know somebody heard you here .... you're not alone and many people on the forums struggle with the issues associated with bipolar and many other mi's, both as carers and as people with lived experience, and yes, the relationships are very challenging .....

Have you heard from your partner yet ?  Is there someone else who can give you some feedback as to how he is going ?  Will he respond to texting ?

Pelase keep posting here.  It can be invaluable to be able to voice what is happening and how you're feeling.  Looking after yourself has to be a primary focus for carers as we are in danger of emotional burnout.  The forums provide a form of recharge as a compassionate community with a lot of shared experience, and there will be others here who can offer you support with BP experiences.

Take care

🌷💜

F&H

[CherryBomb]

Hi @BipolarPartner,

How are things? Have you had a chance to to speak with your partner? I hope you and your partner are ok. It sounds awfully distressing.  

I thought that you might want to connect with @Uggy78 who started this thread about being with her husband who has bipolar. In this thread, @Ellu talks about their own experience of bipolar and how this has impacted their relationships. I wonder if they might be able to give some advice here. 

[BipolarPartner]

He contacted me late last night and asked how I was and if I was staying somewhere safe. I happened to have been with a friend and was on my way home to my parents place for the night when I got the message so I called in to our home.

He was tired and wasn't really up for discussion but apologised for putting me in the position he did and for saying/doing everything he did, letting me know it wasn't my fault and it was his. He said sometimes he feels like everything is just too hard and he is too tired and exhausted to fight or try and change things in our relationship but I feel that the things that are too hard for him are just normal everyday stresses that most people wouldn't think twice about.

he has suggested that we go to couples counselling which I think is a great idea as a third partie's opinion/view might be just what we/he needs.

thank you so much for your reply. This forum is amazing and it's so great to know I'm not alone and I can express myself in a safe environment

xxx

[BipolarPartner]

Things are much better today. Feeling so much more positive having had phone and internet support.
Thank you so much for the links xx

[Former-Member]

Hi @BipolarPartner

My husband has recently been diagnosed with BPii (has had MI 15 years)

Great to hear you are getting support.

I firmly believe you can have a relationship that thrives and not just survives a mental health diagnosis but I think in order to do so the patient needs to accept their disorder and be willing to take steps to help themselves and the non patient also needs to accept the reality of the disorder, grieve what they have lost, including future aspirations that are not possible and make lifestyle adjustments to fit their new reality including having supports in place for themselves to be able to maintain their caring role as well as if or when a relapse occurs.

Take care
Darcy

[Former-Member]

Hi @BipolarPartner

Checking in to see how you are going.

Darcy

[Shaz51]

Hello @BipolarPartner 

been thinking of you today ,

how are you going ??

[BipolarPartner]

Hi Shaz51. I'm doing well. Everything seems to be going smoothly and I am looking for a local relationship Counsellor/Psychologist who may be able to help us in the future.
Thank you everyone for your care and concern. It means a lot to me to know I can come on here at any time xx

[BipolarPartner]

I am going well thanks Darcy. Sorry I haven't been on sooner to let you know. I appreciate all the concern xx