Lived Experience Forum

[Faith-and-Hope]

❤️ @Owlunar ..... 🌷💐

[utopia]

@Owlunar♥♥♥

[Former-Member]

Oh @Owlunar, that’s a lot to carry. I remember your trip to see your uncle, and so impressed you pulled it off and knew in your heart it was likely the last time. Life is hard.
Someone once told me - the way to treat toxic family is to ‘act professional’ You remember working and how you have to push down those feelings to get the job done. The bbq is your job / task, and it is for a limited time.

I often wonder who’s gonna make it to heaven, to rub shoulders with us for eternity. Since it’s Gods will everyone is saved, we could be forced to be with them. There’s no place for conflict in heaven so resentments & malice needs to go. Burnt off on entry perhaps but I think we’re meant to ‘let go’ here on earth. We know we’ve forgiven when we can pray the Lord bless them. This is hard, I know, but God knows too and he’s happy if we just chip away a little at a time, the key is to be willing, the Lord does the rest. Of cause forgiveness is not reconciliation - that requires both parties. Just go through the motions and remember - you don’t have to stay long. Think of some reason you need to leave early. That’s what i’d do. Have a dignified ‘exit strategy’
Another thing the Lord reminds us - he goes with you and before you and will be your strength. You will feel vulnerable but there’s great strength even in vulnerability. You can do this, pray, and ‘fear not’. If it’s ‘the right thing to do to go - do the right thing before the Lord - He will take care of the rest. You’ll be ok. What’s the saying
“Feel the fear (anxiety) and do it anyway”
Holding you in the light 🙏🏽

[Former-Member]

A little humour to help you through 😄 

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member

Oh God knows I do not want reconciliation with my sister - her nasty behaviour went too far a couple of years back and I don't think she wants to talk to me either but she is so perfect  - the sun doesn't rise in the east unless she is up before sunrise to make sure it happens. 

I have forgiven her - that's easy - I don't want to carry her nastiness around in my life and it has been pretty good for the last couple of years. Forgiving her doesn't mean that I let her disrupt my peace either - and you know what? She is so arrogant she thinks she doesn't need forgiveness - she told me this once -mmmm enough of her - I don't think we get thrown together with people we can't get along with in Heaven if that's what we believe - 

I'm hoping she won't be there - and I won't leave early either - I want to spend time with my extra grandchildren and their children and I am looking forward to that

But about my uncle - I have to frame an email for my cousin - it's one of those things I need to pray about first and let some time pass for the pain of someone I love leaving and remember he is still young with a young family - I might need a passport too so I have to get that started today as well and I am having the usual back-pain slow start.

It's a lovely day in Melbourne - I need to go out soon to attend to some business - I don't really feel up to it yet but I will feel better as I get move around. Knowing someone I love is most likely dying is tough and it's getting late

Thanks for your message - it's wonderful you think like that - I have dried up on my sister - there's really nothing left for her

I hope you are okay - I am not a useful person right now but I am still holding you in my thoughts

Dec

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member@utopia@Faith-and-Hope@outlander

Thanks for your support - I will be in touch and let everyone know how things are going - I need to go out and attend to business now and I will be back later

Hi @Sophia1

I am tagging you into my pain thread now - I think other people will make you welcome her also

Dec

[Zoe7]

You have a lot going on @Owlunar  Both situations with your sister and uncle would be causing you stress. I know how much you care for your uncle so that news would be distressing for you. It makes that time you spent with him back in February so much more special now. I am so pleased that you made that trip when you did.

The situation with your sister is not a nice ne at all. I hope for your sake that she isn't at the BBQ but if she is you have every right to avoid her with everything she has put you through.

It is great that you can share here Dec - sometimes it is helpful to be able to get things off your chest and there is always somene here that will listen - so keep sharing Hon.

[Owlunar]

Hi @Zoe7

Thank you - you are so sensitive and you say the right things so often - 

I have settled down this afternoon - I need a passport and I want a British one as well and I thought about things and I am pretty sure my relations are still in Australia - my uncle was far to ill to travel - after attending to unrelated business and talking to the bank and then people at the sub-post-office I will email my cousin this evening and give him my thoughts etc - and go ahead with my passports etc - I don't think the situation is as urgent as I felt - it's wonderful how things can settle when we share them

And yes - for my sake - for everyone's sake - I hope my sister won't be at the BBQ - she does have to have her fingers in everyone's pie - does she ever - but this event is for my SIL and no doubt his kids. 

Still - I am more sure than ever I do not need my sister in my life - so I can hope - I really do have enough going on right now so I can tell I am more settled this evening - and I will get some dinner ready pretty soon - energy bars are okay now and again but once in a while is enough

I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow - that's a good thing - one details about having so many young uncles is that they age and have to leave - I think it's time for me to be here for my cousin

Thanks again Zoe

Dec

[Sophia1]

hilarious @Former-Member

oh isn't it lovely to laugh...

that is my type of humour...

sorry I have not read your thread of late and rather than ask pointless questions...

will say that I am still thinking of you...

[Zoe7]

Things often feel more urgent in the heat of the moment @Owlunar so I am happy to hear that they may not be as urgent as you first thought.

It seems a sensible idea to just see what happens at the BBQ and to be there for your SIL. Sometimes when we expect the worst then we are not disappointed but that then doesn't leave much room to just enjoy the moment either. I hope the BBQ is ok for you Dec.