The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

[Zoe7]

Good news that it was ok and you reached some resolutions - especially in regards to your mother - I know it isn't an ideal solution for you but making that decision is better than keeping on going as you were. It takes up so much energy when we are dealing with the actions of others that we can't control - that is there deficiency Hon not yours @Sans911 

[Snowie]

Glad it went okish @Sans911

I guess giving her a piece of your mind will not help in the long run but would feel good in the short time. Would love to say a few things to my mum too but for now its shhh.....

I know how control and SH can be hard. 

Super big hugs hun 

[Appleblossom]

Its the build up of pressure and injustice....needing a release valve.  I hope as time passes you can build up other coping skills and the worst of SH recedes into the background.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hugs @Sans911 ...., 💜💐💕 ..... try to just ignore her back, not vindictively, just as you would anything that was a pester to you .... because she is being a pest, a nuisance.  Sometimes thinking of it from a slightly different direction can help with coping strategies.  She is not your responsibility ..... you are not responsible for appeasing her, or for her happiness, and that might help too.  I hope so.  Hugs.

[Sans911]

Me too @Appleblossom. I don't understand why SH is suddenly a big feature in my life as even with adversity before I coped.i don't like what I'm doing to myself, yet I seem helpless to stop.

[Appleblossom]

The main thing I can come up with is "pressure and early trauma" @Sans911  Abandonment at 6 counts as trauma.

I seriously tried for years to love and support my sibs to stop it.  They were abandoned at 2 and 4 so had it harder.  Despite all my commitment against SH behaviours, I then began, but did not realise it was SH. It was not til 15 years later that I could see it as SH.  It was classic pressure release stuff. Try not to identify with it.  

Pressure transmitted through lack of family resources and/or love.

In order to stop it, it took more than mere self control ... it took being in a better position and open to less pressure.  So it stopped gradually.

Keep doing the work and a path will open ahead for you, independent of family. A path for YOU as a unique person   

[Snowie]

Goodnight sis @Sans911

I hope you are ok tonight. You have had a big talking day which is never easy. 

[Sans911]

@Snowie- I am ok hun, just tired. Goodnight sweet XXXX

[Snowie]

Good morning sis @Sans911, hoping you got some sleep last night 

[Sans911]

Morning @Snowie

It was a late sleep but slept okay. Just getting for my GP appt. Catch up with you soon