feeling lost/fresh out of a long term relationship

[bluebumblebee]

Hi everyone I'm new to this and not really sure how it works but I thought id give it a try. I got out of a 2 year relationship a week ago and had some hope for us until today when he confirmed he doesn't feel it's good for us to rekindle. I'm feeling super lost and confused and physically ill. I'm not sure what I'm expecting out of this to be honest. Maybe just someone to talk with, or someone going through something similar as me, or any advice any one has would be appreciated. thank you!

[tyme]

Hey @bluebumblebee , welcome to the forums.

Thank you for sharing.

From your post, is it fair to say that you are feeling a little numb? 

I hear you don't feel so well at the moment. Did he ever talk to you about why be may be feeling the way he does?

Sitting with you @bluebumblebee . It sounds like a confusing time.

[bluebumblebee]

Hey there,

Thank you for replying first of all.

Over our relationship we've had lots of conversations wether or not we are right for each other but it never felt super likely that we would actually part because we love each other so much. Last Friday gone we had another one and this one resulted in our break up. He didn't feel happy in us and felt lost because he didn't see us working. its been difficult because I believe we can work though it.

[bluebumblebee]

@tyme
wasn't sure how to tag you

[tyme]

I'm glad you have been able to have some honest conversations with each other. I hear how much you love him. I wonder if he just has this 'feeling' that things won't work out?

@bluebumblebee 

I hear it is hard for you. I'm sure it's not easy for him either, especially since you've been together for so long. 

Do you see yourself settling down with him, having kids or whatever else? I also wonder if he sees it?

I don't know the whole situation, but in a way, I'm glad he is also open about it. Would you consider chatting to him a bit more about it?

[bluebumblebee]

@tyme

I definitely do see all those things with him, I think that the problems we have we can work through together. I did have hope that maybe he would come around. 

unfortunately after a phone call with him today and me laying out all my points of why I think we should be together and how we could work on issues. He said that he doesn't see it working and doesn't want to give it another try. I understand and respect his decision but its just really hard to accept and at the moment I'm not seeing much point in building a life with out him in it I guess and struggling to get rid of this sick feeling I have.

(I am not feeling suicidal whatsoever, just struggling with motivation to build a life with out him)

[tyme]

Grief is a real thing @bluebumblebee . Loss and grief takes time to work through and there's no timeframe for it. 

Please be gentle with yourself. I'm have to go now, but I hope to catch up with you later this week. 

Show yourself some compassion at this time, and tell yourself it's not your fault. Do you have someone you can talk to? @bluebumblebee 

[bluebumblebee]

@tyme

thank you for chatting with me today, I really appreciate it.

I have support in my mum and friends so I am not alone.

Enjoy the rest of your day. hopefully hear from you again later in the week.

Thank you