Life and trauma

[MJG017]

@Former-Member 

I'm sorry you're getting all of these seizures still.  I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must be, especially on top of everything else going on right now.

If there is one thing I do know though, is that even only taking into consideration what you have shared with as to what you've been through, you will find a way to get through it all.  You may not always like yourself, or forgive yourself, but one thing you do have is that strength and resilience like we've talked about.  I think the level of which you've shown in your life is superhuman!  So i know it's so hard for you and I know you have a lot of things going on, but i also know that if any one person can get through it, it's you.  I don't know what that engine is you have inside you that gives you this strength, but it must be #^$%ing nuclear powered!!

[Former-Member]

@MJG017 it's definitely taking alot out of me. 

Thanks for your kind words as always❤️. I feel like my engine is running on vapours, there's really not alot left in the tank. I'm really digging deep to get through this and knowing I have you and this community here with me really means alot.

I'm really hoping i hear back from the land agent tomorrow cos it's cutting it close to my lease ending. 

[MJG017]

@Former-Member 

Well let us know as soon as you get the news.  We can either all give a huge sigh of relief together, or work on what is next together.  Either way, we'll all be here with you.

It's totally understandable how exhausted you must be.  But i get the impression you've always been running on vapours. So I'm confident you will continue to get through whatever happens, but you really do deserve quite a bit of luck and for a lot to start going your way.  Imagine what you would achieve if you didn't have all of this taking up so much of your energy!  It scary to think about.

[MJG017]

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@Till23 wrote:

MJG017 don't worry about the lack of testosterone on your heart. Half of the population have that, so not a problem. Cardiac muscle is a different type of muscle to skeletal muscle and smooth muscle. Skeletal muscle is sensitive to testosterone, but not the other two to amy meaningful extent. Also, only some chemotherapeutic agents are cardiotoxic - so don't worry about something that may never happen.

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Thanks @Till23, that's all good to know.  Nice to know there's a good chance my heart will see my through.  I was invited into a cardiac trial when I was first diagnosed.  Basically it was to see if men with prostate cancer have better outcomes if they see a cardiologist during treatment. I was put into the intervention group and he seemed very pleased with my numbers... just shocked at the BP drop while standing.  Apart from wondering how i was still standing, he seemed pleased with everything else.  So one little thing wrong out of all the others doesn't seem so bad.

[avant-garde]

@MJG017 @Former-Member 

Just jumping in briefly because I got were discussing vampires...

One of LJ Smith's (author of vampire diaries) less known and I think better series, Night World.

[Former-Member]

@MJG017 so I got an email back and it's not good news. I really am screwed and I don't know what I'm supposed to do 😞.

[MJG017]

@Former-Member 

I'm so sorry it wasn't better news.  I really wish I had some other suggestions for you.  Is there any avenue at all you could think of retrying?  Maybe there would be more luck now that the situation has gotten much more desperate.

It really is such a damning indictment on society today that this can happen with so little recourse or govt support.  I'm here with you hoping something last minute presents itself.  This should just never be allowed to happen!

[Former-Member]

@MJG017 there's just nothing in the way of help. Everywhere has just told me to apply for other houses but don't care that everything is well over what I can afford. I can't apply for a house if u can't afford the rent, it's so stupid. My whole world is about to come crashing down again, I don't have it in me to go through this again 😞. 

[MJG017]

@Former-Member 

I can't imagine how much of a blow this must be for you and how upsetting.  The only other thing that comes to mind is contacting your local MPs office, explain your predicament and ask "what the hell do you suggest I do now?!". It's so infuriating that this can happen!  I don't even know what to type right now, other than you deserve so much better.

[Former-Member]

@MJG017 right now i just quit.