Life and trauma

[MJG017]

@Former-Member  It's not your fault. No one chooses to do any of these things.  It's your mental health struggles that are doing this to you.  Mental health is the same as our physical health.  If you broke your legs, it wouldn't be your fault you couldn't walk, it's just your legs needing medical help.  So likewise, right now, it's just your mental health that needs help right now.  It's not a weakness or a failure but a normal reaction to traumas and stresses and issues in our lives.

The shifts change over all the time, so you'll have another person on shift before too long and maybe you'll have some more understanding with them. 

[Former-Member]

@MJG017 i love how you explain things so well and how it makes sense. 

I'm hoping it changes soon cos at the moment I'm scared and I don't want to feel this way. 

[MJG017]

@Former-Member  Nobody wants to feel that way!  That's why it's not your fault.  Did you choose to be struggling like this?  Of course not!!  You just need some help to get better.  Just like we all do when our own fights start to really get on top of us.  Well, you lost control for a moment and yet you still managed to do what you needed to do and call for help.

So just keep telling your self that you are where you need to be right now and that's okay.  It may not be fun or even much easier where you are at the moment but it's important for you at the moment in order for you to start that road to not feeling like this any more.

[MJG017]

@Former-Member  It sounds like you were extremely lucky.  One thing ive learnt over the past year, which has easily been the toughest year of my life, is that even the darkest times can being positives into our lives that we wouldn't have found without having to go through that darkness.

We're foreced to do things we didnt rmthink we could do, or say things we didnt think we could tell anyone, and think positive things about ourselves that we didnt think possible.  And being in that darkest, most difficult time can open those doors for us.  So maybe this is the beginning of that for you, as it was for me earlier last year.

Getting some sleep sounds like an awesome idea!  Ask someone, im sure that could give you something to help you sleep.

Just leave everything outside that door they brought you in through.  You dont need to worry about anything now where you are.  just focus on getting as much rest as possible and im sure it will do you the world of good.  And allow you to get back to everything else with a much rested outlook.

Who knows, we may find some time soon that all we chat about is bad jokes, cats, and how much better you're feeling.  Let everyone do what they can to help you get there.

[Former-Member]

@MJG017 i want to reply to everything you have said but my mind is completely fried right now. But know that I've read it all and I appreciate everything said. 

I hope you have a good night. Thanks for always chatting to me and even more so when I've really needed it. 

[MJG017]

@Former-Member  You are more than welcome.  Im always more than happy to support a friend.  Rest up and we'll chat later.

[MJG017]

@Former-Member 

I'm so sorry to hear your news.  I'm sure it's going to be a tough reminder of the past couple of days for you going forward.  But to be that person for a moment.... at least you can now go forward and I think we often find that we have to reach rock bottom before we start our way back up.  So maybe this is the start of your way back up.  But for now, I'd just say focus on getting rest and getting yourself in a place where they're happy to get you back home.  We all just want to see you feeling better, both physically and mentally and you're ion the right place to do that now.  And you know you have people who will support you along the way.

I know it must feel embarrassing to have these panic attacks in front of people, after all you're the only one who can see it from your own point of view.  But no one else sees it like that and definitely nothing that makes you look pathetic.  I tend to try to look at myself more from other people's point of view in moments when I feel bad about myself. I find this helps me. 

So for you, imagine a patient is the bed next to you.  You know she's been really struggling a lot, and had just been given some bad news and she starts to have a panic attack.  Do you look at her as pathetic?  Or do you see them as someone who is really fighting like crazy just to survive, and who is just in a bad place right now and you wish you could do something to help them?  Now if you take that thought and realise that is how people will be seeing you, hopefully it gives you a more accurate perspective and helps you to not feel too down on yourself.

I know a lot of people and I can definitely say from my own experience that we can just be our own worst critics and can get stuck seeing ourselves for worse than everyone else does.  It's a very hard state of mind to get out of.  I still struggle with it, a lot, but i'm far better with it now that I was for most of my life.  I'm sure i've said before, that it's not something you will change instantly, or even believe is possible, but just try to accept that it's possible to start with.  The rest will start to come after.

Sorry... i'm making you read even more endless waffle! 😁  Did you at least manage to get some decent sleep last night?  We're here with you, helping you through this.