Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

[Spirit_Healer]

@tyme , that photo was of Marta's 'good side'.

Not long after I shared that, it was bedtime, which involved me chasing Marta around the unit, up the bookshelf, and then finally extracting her from under my coffee table. All so that I could put her in the laundry, so that I could have the heat from the living room heater reach my bedroom, and not have her walking up and down my bed, keeping me awake! 

@tyme , I have a question:

How do you cope with living alone?

I started renting my unit to give myself space from my parents. I've decided not to share house because I want more freedom and privacy. These evenings, I've been having dinner with my parents at their home, and then coming back to my unit afterwards. My parents and their house hold some traumatic memories for me. And yet, it's like I keep running back to them for company. I feel so conflicted. And they keep suggesting I move back in with them. 

I'm hoping that, once I start work again, the social interaction will help me feel less lonely. I really hope so!

@Dreamy @Glisten @Jynx 

[Dreamy]

@Spirit_Healer Marta sounds like she is a bit cheeky 😊.

It can be really hard to live alone but I've found having music on helps me with the silence of an empty house. Also trying to plan what you could do during the day/night so that you have things to do. Having dinner with your parents is good but I guess it's important to also look out for your well-being, so if you feel that it's getting too much then make sure you look after yourself. I know it can be hard to want to run back despite the trauma cos it's also a safety network. Just remember the reasons why you left and that you want to have that freedom and privacy, hopefully once you start work again you can build some connections with others. 

Know that we are always here to chat if you want or need too. I get lonely alot but it's nice to have a community of support here 😊. 

[tyme]

I love living alone EXCEPT for cooking for one @Spirit_Healer 

I am on the go all the time so when I'm home, it's MY time. 

What I found is that I spend most of the time out either working or volunteering. When I'm home, I catch up on calls, read, then go to bed. 

So I don't find being at home alone hard at all. Put it this way, I don't feel lonely. As soon as I have time, I take the dog for a walk. 

I might volunteer at my church too. Tomorrow morning I'm going to take a youth group before I start work.

So I reckon once you start work, you'll be so exhausted that you'll want to be home.

Going to your parents in the interim can be very helpful too.

[Spirit_Healer]

By the way, @tyme , I read about half of 'The Happiness Trap'. I even tried some of the exercises. I found the processes taught were too involved, too many steps, to be helpful for me when I'm distressed. It's supposed to be ACT, but feels more like DBT with all the acronyms. 

[tyme]

I think it's something to digest and practice when you aren't distressed so that when you are distressed, it comes naturally. That's how I found it works best.

Whilst you have that book, I've got the other book you recommended. Forgot the name... something about 'feel the fear and do it anyway' or something like that? @Spirit_Healer 

[Spirit_Healer]

Yes, that's the one, @tyme . One of the best books on mental health that I've read. 

@Dreamy I need some encouragement: I'm returning to work tomorrow after several months away. Just then, I was having dinner at my parents' and when I started to collect my things to come back to my own place, I started feeling very nervous. I think it's because I've been away for so long. The What-if Monster came out from its hidey- hole. 'What if I've forgotten how to do my job?' 'What if things on my desk are not how I left them?' Etc,etc.

@Appleblossom @Glisten @PeppyPatti @Jynx @Ru-bee @rav3n @Shaz51 @The-red-centaur 

[Dreamy]

Hello @Spirit_Healer, totally normal to be nervous after being away for so long. Those 'what if' thoughts can be overwhelming but I think it's really important to take this one little step at a time. Your boss has been very understanding in you needing time off so that you could get help and I think they will be there to support you while you get back into things. I'm sure you haven't forgotten how to do your job, things might be a bit shaky for a while as you get back into routine but i believe in you and you've got this. You have come such a long way and it's been incredible to follow your journey and celebrate the moments of achievements. 

So let's take this one step at a time, take a deep breath and tell yourself 'I can do this'. Sending you big hugs. We will be with you every step of the way as you continue your journey ❤️

[PeppyPatti]

Dearest @Spirit_Healer 

I'm taking @Dreamy advice and using it myself today. 

Authentic. 

Wow @Dreamy you are so wise. 

When I read these words I didn't feel any stress. 

[Shaz51]

Thinking of you lots today @Spirit_Healer 😍

[Spirit_Healer]

I did it! My first half-day at work. 

Thank you @Shaz51 @Dreamy for the encouragement!

Even my boss was happy for me.