Send 'smooth-sailing' sentiments to Spirit_Healer!

[PeppyPatti]

Love those birds. 

We are here for you darling. 

[Spirit_Healer]

Hello, @PeppyPatti @tyme @MJG017 @rav3n @Glisten @Oaktree @Shaz51 @Dreamy @Ru-bee @Jynx @creative_writer @BPDSurvivor @Appleblossom @Till23  !

I met with my boss this afternoon. What stuck me is how realistic and humane he is.

He's changed my duties for my return to work so that I have more flexibility to reduce my hours of attendance further if need be. 

Because I've been off work for more than 13 weeks, he needs me to complete a form for fitness to work and potentially get an independent medical review as well. He reassured me that the process is not invasive.

I think overall he just wants to support me the best he can so that I can get back to doing my job and travelling healthily in the process.

After this meeting, my overall feeling is one of relief. I'm looking forward to returning to work.

[Dreamy]

Hello @Spirit_Healer , I'm really glad that he is so supportive. That really would be such a relief for you. Wishing you all the best for your return to work. 

Keep doing the amazing work you are doing ❤️ 

[Jynx]

Oh  wow @Spirit_Healer love to hear it! Can be hard to find a supportive workplace hey - so glad to hear that they are making sure you will be plenty looked after!! 

[Appleblossom]

@Spirit_Healer I am really glad to hear you have a decent boss.

Good luck with the whole process of easing back into the workplace.

Gently Bently.... But enjoy a splash when you are up for it and the water is just right 

[Ru-bee]

I'm really glad to hear that your boss is being so kind and supportive through this @Spirit_Healer 

That's exactly how these things should be! But unfortunately it's definitely not always the case, so I share in your relief in hearing that

[creative_writer]

@Spirit_Healer it’s amazing you have a boss who is willing to make adjustments. I hope you are able to get your support needs met 💖

[PeppyPatti]

Dear @Spirit_Healer @Dreamy 

Cool words from @Dreamy .....my thoughts exactly ......

[rav3n]

it's lovely to hear from you @Spirit_Healer your boss seems great, seems like an understanding person! hoping the transition back to work goes smoothly for you 💙

[Spirit_Healer]

@Glisten , tonight I was reminded of the words you typed a few days ago:

"It’s not your responsibility to make them feel better about their actions and their guilt. Let them deal with their shame.

That’s their journey, not yours."

I learnt today that my Dad hasn't been sleeping well - both having trouble getting too sleep, and also waking early. He attributed this to the guilt he feels around being the reason I moved out recently. 

It almost feels like he is guilt-tripping me for causing him to feel guilty. 

When I was studying to become a doctor (before I left medical school), I learnt that if someone has trouble falling asleep, it's usually anxiety, and if they wake early, it's usually depression. Dad is having both at the moment. And as I've alluded to earlier, both I and him think he has bipolar. 

My response to hearing this news was "Go and get help." I know how reluctant he is to do so - he only comes along if I'm the one with the 'problem'. He doesn't want the diagnosis or the medication that comes with it. 

I feel ambivalent: both justified that he is moving towards understanding the impact that his behaviour has had on me, and empathy for his suffering. Despite his past transgressions, I still don't like to see him suffer. 

I know that he will never own up to half of what I experienced. If he knew and believed what happened from my perspective, I think he would be struggling even more. 

My psychologist advised me not to 'open cans that I can't close'.

So I'm getting EMDR for my trauma, rather than pursuing family therapy for what Dad did. 

@tyme