Our stories
I was consulting Dr Google about health issues, @CheerBear. Just the thing a lot of doctors hate us doing, lol. Personally I like to have a grasp of what's going on in my body though, and understand it as much as possible from a medical/scientific angle. My mum was a nurse and I think I've inherited an interest in things medical. Nothing out of the ordinary happening health wise here though, just got caught up wandering from one web page to the next. 
Hope the sun comes out for you later today. How are you feeling (if you feel like talking about that)? Any plans for the day?
@CheerBear, it's a major time in your life and of those you care about. Huge hugs, which don't seem to be enough to convey how much I feel for what you are going through. A busy time too, with interstate visitor and the associated tasks and energy required for that. Glad to hear the visitor may be helpful to well one at this time. I hope you find their presence of some consolation too. Is it someone you know well?
@greenpea, I'm good this morning, aside from a headache I've had since yesterday afternoon. Went to craft group yesterday, and instead of making halloween baubles as the others were doing, I took my colouring in book and did that for a couple of hours. It was good to have some company and chat with the staff and participants. We are mostly all pretty familiar with each other, being regulars at the mental health centre for a long time now. Bit of walking around the village shops there afterwards, including op shops and my favourite bakery for lunch. Wondering what you've been up to lately. By the way, I think the image has cleared moderation now, if you are still around. Good stuff for today to you. 
Halloween, phooey, I say, @CheerBear, lol. Glad to hear you might get some laughs with your aunty. Enjoy your reading while the day is still quiet.
@greenpea, glad to hear the pea is being so good. Hope you have been on some enjoyable outings with the Irish nurse, and are still enjoying the lilt of her voice.
That busy period I was facing has come to a sudden end, just as suddenly as it started. I spiralled into very high anxiety about the paid commission for the video, which blocked my creative process completely, and I had to withdraw from the project. The deadline for the work was really unreasonable for my pace of working and it was hard trying to meet the high expectations of others. I find my creativity flows well for the most part when I am in the drivers seat with it all, so that's what I'll be sticking to from now on.
I think I did the right thing in backing out, as life is more important than art, and I need to take care of my mental health more than reach dizzier heights with my small artistic 'career'. However, I swung into a week of feeling like a failure after pulling out, getting depressed about that, not leaving the flat, too much time in bed, not showering or doing any cleaning tasks, etc. The usual troubled reactions from me to external stress.
Just the past couple of days I've picked up again. Thursday was a good day with lots of cleaning of me, my bed, and all my dirty washing, amongst other things. Yesterday was also a big day for me in light of recent events, though it only involved craft group and wandering around local shops. It was my first time of being independently out of the flat for about two weeks. I came home exhausted!
Today, no plans, but that's okay. Will take a cruisy day of feeling okay, and get back into the activities next week, when the mental health centre is open again and there are other things to be done.
@Dadcaringalone, you are so kind to try to reassure me about my occasional feelings of inadequacy about the long term progress with my mental health. It's one of those things where I know intellectually I needn't feel that way, but do anyway. The heart doesn't always respond to what the brain is telling it in my experience.
It's not too emotionally heavy for me though, more a questioning process about the whole concept of 'Recovery' that seems to be the current model of viewing and disseminating information about mental illness. I suspect that government policy has something to do with it, as in trying to get everyone into the workplace, regardless of disabilities, or whether it's going to make them worse.
I'm cynical about politics and its frequent heartlessness about real people's lives, especially those in disadvantaged positions in society. From my many, many experiences over a lifetime of trying to find myself an ongoing place in regular employment, I consider the modern workplace a breeding ground for mental illness in so many cases, due to the extremely high stresses placed on people these days.
Having said that, there probably are many people who do benefit from being in the workplace, despite struggling with mental illness. No easy answers and these are just the kinds of thoughts that circulate in my mind sometimes.
How great that you have a therapist who can so closely relate to your experience of caring for your son. I tend to agree it's a systemic problem that we are talking about. I have a lot of respect for individual mental health professionals and their motives, which mostly seem to be about trying to help, even when I disagree with their frame of reference at times.
I've seen some psychiatrists and doctors I've considered outright bad at their job and actually damaging to my mental health, usually only for very short periods (I'm not stupid, lol). But most of the ones I have seen have helped me in one way or another in my life. Even the psychiatrist I saw for a couple of years, who seemed so disinterested, made 'humourous' comments at my expense, and often left me walking home from sessions in tears... he was the one who helped me secure a disability pension, which has been an absolute life saver for me.
I'm not against the diagnoses, as eventually getting the bipolar diagnosis has helped me in material ways, like getting the disability pension I so needed, and also receiving more appropriate medication treatment that has been a lot more helpful to my life than what came before. But I also see that ongoing 'management' (my preferred term) of mental illness, often needs psychiatry and medications, as well as psychology and social support. I also think that there needs to be more recognition that, at least in some cases and even with all of the support mentioned above, it can be a chronic condition and a daily struggle throughout a whole life. I'd be interested to read Rufus May if you would share a link.
It makes me feel very worthwhile that you felt better after reading my post the other day. Enjoy your well deserved break. Are you going somewhere relaxing and refreshing?
Star Trek does make me happier, lol! So I'll keep on trekk'n, as I've always done. Sending many good feelings your way. 
just dropping these off to you all
@Mazarita@greenpea@Dadcaringalone@CheerBear@Shaz51@Faith-and-Hope@eth@Exoplanet@PeppiPatty@Appleblossom@Teejand all those passing through
