Lived Experience Forum

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hi,

This is my first time posting here. I called lifeline last night and it did NOT go well. I very rarely call because I have had so many negative experiences in the past, but I was desperate. I explained to the counsellor that a large part of my mess is that up until 18 months ago I had been in a very complex and abusive relationship with my psychologist for sixteen years. The counsellor replied...wait for it..."perhaps the abuse was an important part of the therapy." I feel SO sick jut typing it now. I hung up on him and ended up in a bigger crisis than I was before I called. I tried calling back but now I was super dysregulated and the counsellor hung up on me - the most common experience I have when I call lifeline  I have submitted a complaint to lifeline via their website, but I'm not sure if they are able to trace who the counsellor was given that all I can provide is a time - I don't know his name or what lifeline centre he is located at. 

Am I the only person who has had negative experiences with lifeline? Everywhere I look the message is "call lifeline" and yet the skill level of the counsellors seems to be very poor - and indeed it seems to have become poorer over the years. A lot of them seem to answer the phone in a tone that suggests I have rudely interrupted their evening, and most of them seem to have no idea how to just "be" with the big feelings at the start of the call. Along with my mental health issues, I have autism and when I am swamped with overwhelming emotions I lose the capacity for speech and make a lot of weird noises instead. I have learnt to get out "I am autistic, please don't hang up on me" as soon as they answer, but most of the time I still get hung up on. In this particular instance it actually would have been better if the counsellor had hung up, rather than say what he said. I will never ever be able to unhear his response  Thank you for listening. 

[Happyness]

Hello @Phoenix_Rising

I'm sorry about your bad experience with 'Lifeline'

Me too

I'm sorry, but some of the 'Lifeline' workers actually want to pick up (i mean the S.. word)

And so i don't call them anymore

[pip]

Dear @ Phoenix_Rising. That's terrible how you were treated. There is absolutely no excuse for this, counselors who volunteer for lifeline are asked to give a certain length of time. If they are unable to listen, help etc, they will usually inform the caller they will be handed over to another counselor. Your psych also has a lot to answer to for with his treatment of you. Was the psych referred by your Dr? Perhaps it might be an idea for you to return to your Dr and tell him about your bad experience with the psych. I had a negative experience with a psychiatrist after being an incest victim. I ended the sessions and informed my Dr who reported the psych for inappropriate comments. I have had little experience with lifeline but I've never heard of anyone having your experience. Are you working or unable to work due to being autistic? Is there someone who could speak on your behalf who could explain why you called lifeline or another forum. have you tried 'logging on' to lifeline to see if there's some sort of email address you could write to?

[Former-Member]

Hi @Phoenix_Rising, you may not be able to forget what the lifeline phone counsellor said but you sure as hell can dismiss it as an unprofessional response by an ignorant tw#t that's shouldn't be there. No 'abuse' I know of is part of 'therapy' Its so hard to find the right 'fit' in counselling.
Have you tried Beyond Blue?
Try to let it go. I journal a lot instead of ringing them. Found lifeline people often very mechanical in their approach. Sometimes ringing back ya get someone better. They're only volunteers trying to make a difference with a 1wk expensive course.
Chin up xox

[Happyness]

I keep on getting dismissed

But i'm trying to work with them

Be carefull of DV as in helpline workers

I'm not saying it happens often

But it happens

[Queenie]

I've had bad experiences with lifeline in the past too. I called them once while extremely vulnerable and the telephone counselor said "if you were to harm yourself, how do you think it would effect me. I have feelings too you know". I was like wtf?! I also find their online crisis counselling very scripted and frustratingly annoying (it is like it is a bot replying to you). 

I gave up on helplines many years ago for that reason. 

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hi all,

Thank you for the replies. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has had bad experiences - although of course it sucks that ANYONE has a bad experience when calling a crisis line. I feel so isolated. Someone mentioned the online chatting with lifeline. I tried that once a few weeks ago because I thought it would solve the issue of getting hung up on. However, like the other person said, it was like talking to a robot. Anyway, I like the fact that I've discovered the SANE forums 

[Awake2day]

Evening

I am new here too

I commend anyone who has the capacity to get through to a person

This was a facebook post I made last year in December...

Welcome to lifeline....if your life is in immediate danger, please hang up and call 000. If you wish to speak to someone please choose from the following options...1. If you are too angry to press the keypad please just scream. 2. If your screaming cannot be registered as a question by the robot please hold for more options. 3. As you have registered as a human who shows emotions, the robot will now transfer you to their robot manager for decommission.

[pip]

Hi @Phoenix_Rising. Beyond Blue does have a forum similar to this. They also have counselors who are willing to listen and talk. However here at SANE we understand and will endeavour to guide you so you won't feel quite so isolated. Keep posting as you need to.

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hi @Awake2day, Nice to meet another newby Your post made me giggle. Yes, I find it absurd that lifeline has started doing the "press 1, press 2 etc" thing. I also hate the fact that the hold music gets interrupted with a "your call is important to us" recorded message. Every time it does that, I get a little sense of hope that someone is answering...but then it turns out to just be the machine. I went for many years without calling lifeline and I've only started again recently because I've had a hellish year trying to find a new psychologist (I've just started seeing my ninth psychologist in twelve months!!!). I am really glad I've found the SANE forums. I think they will meet my need for human contact better than lifeline.