Lived Experience Forum

[P12]

Counsellors and psychologists to whom I have spoken have told me to identify my long term goals and strive for their achievement. But my attempts have been unsuccessful because I lack the practical skills for achievement and that has caused me greater dissatisfaction than before I attempted to achieve the goals. What is the reason for this strategy and why are counsellors and pyschologists unwilling or unable to give me practical advice?

For example, I identified the technical topic most interesting to me, looked for collaborators, and asked for support to pursue my interest. I found only two people in Australia with similar interests and believe they are unwilling to collaborate with me because by discrediting me their circumstances will improve. The feedback I recieved is about my requests for support is that the topic is not relevant to society. Instead I am expected to perform a job for which I am imperfect and therefore I receive abuse all day because my processes and ideas are different to the industry. Is it true that society's objective is for greater normality and communal size and what is the reason for such a strange aspiration? Why does society reject people who are different? Why does society not allow me to pursue my individual interests and talents? What is the purpose of living if society has no use for my talents and the role that society would have me fulfil causes me trauma?

Secondly, as I would like to take a holiday, I researched and planned a trip but couldn't proceed because I was unable to find someone to join me and my family told me not to go alone. I found a tour operator, but they had insufficient interest to proceed. I advertised it with a local club, but not one out of one thousand members have expressed any interest in joining me. Now the tour operator has cancelled the trip. How am I able to take a holiday when no one will join a trip I organise and a tour operator will not accept me on a trip they organise?

Last night I couldn't sleep because I cried when I realised I would not fulfil my desires and there was nothing I could do about it.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @P12  and welcome to the forums.  I am sorry to hear things are so difficult for you right now.

[P12]

I understand cognitive behaviour theory uses a combination of cognitive and relaxation techniques to improve mood disorders. Apparently an appropriate balance of the two will reduce distress. How can I learn to relax better? I find I must use cognitive skills continually simply to survive in the society in which I don't fit. When I try relaxation techniques I feel more distress because I only feel that they aren't working because society is averse to me trying to relax and have fun, and therefore I must use even more cognitive skills to survive. Am I doing something wrong?

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi and welcome to the forums @P12 👋

I havm't had personal experience with Cognitive Behaviour Therapy but I do know it has helped many forum friends, and non-form family and friends.

[P12]

1. Is clinical treatment supposed to be only a short term? Most accounts I've read say patients who visit a psychologist of counsellor will recover after between 6 and 30 sessions or after up to 18 months. However, those to whom I've spoken say my condition is uncurable and will remain throughout my life. I really feel the same now as I did when I began clinical treatment. Is clinical treatment suitable for me and if not which part of society may be able to help?

2. Is it normal for people to be criticised in a work environment? Certainly it makes me feel terrible and to feel better I go somewhere safer and cry. Is this normal? I thought there were rules against unwelcome actions and for inclusion and diversity. Some people say I am free to choose a different employer, but as far as I have determined there is no employer who will pay me a basic salary to pursue my interests and who will respect me for who I am.

[Shaz51]

hello @P12 

they are very good questions my friend 

I will tag a few members @Faith-and-Hope , @eth , @outlander , @TideisTurning , @Judi9877 , @Smc , @Appleblossom , @Mazarita 

@P12  wrote ; 

1. Is clinical treatment supposed to be only a short term? Most accounts I've read say patients who visit a psychologist of counsellor will recover after between 6 and 30 sessions or after up to 18 months. However, those to whom I've spoken say my condition is uncurable and will remain throughout my life. I really feel the same now as I did when I began clinical treatment. Is clinical treatment suitable for me and if not which part of society may be able to help?

2. Is it normal for people to be criticised in a work environment? Certainly it makes me feel terrible and to feel better I go somewhere safer and cry. Is this normal? I thought there were rules against unwelcome actions and for inclusion and diversity. Some people say I am free to choose a different employer, but as far as I have determined there is no employer who will pay me a basic salary to pursue my interests and who will respect me for who I am.

[TideisTurning]

Thanks for the tag @Shaz51 😊 @P12, it sounds like you've been through a lot of hard things. Struggling with all of that is understandable. Before getting into your questions, I think it's really important to note that everyone has different experiences, and what works will be different for different people. It is about finding what works for you.

In regard to your first question, I'd encourage you to have a look and see if there's anything you might like to try. Others here may be able to share experiences of what has worked for them to give you a few ideas to start off with. 

As for your secod question, I feel like sadly, critical workplaces can be a very common experience, even though there are laws. I feel like it'd be not only normal but also important to release the emotion from all of that by having a good cry in a place that's safe.  I'm so sorry to hear of your horrible experiences. I'm sure there will be something out there, somewhere.  You might be interested in the Online Peer Group Chat coming up on Thursday from 7-8:30pm (AEST). I'll tag you in the thread for more information 😊 

[Mazarita]

Hi @P12, as @Shaz51 said, these are good questions. 

I wonder if the psych clinicians you saw gave you a diagnosis. It has helped me to be diagnosed for more effective treatments, though there are some downsides to getting a label like that too. Overall though I have found my bipolar diagnosis more helpful than harmful though over the three decades I have been receiving treatment and different kinds of support.

Even though my mental health struggles have not gone away, they are generally far less severe. it is without doubt in my mind that treatment and support from doctors, psychologists, other mental health professionals and the peer support here on the forum, have significantly raised my quality of life.

I really like and agree with what @TideisTurning said about each individual being different when it comes to the forms of help that will work best for each of us. Different forms of help in combination have been best for me. Living with bipolar has involved learning and exploration of different methods of assistance. It's also been for me about finding a measure of acceptance about my life and who I am in general.

You asked about other forms of support besides clinicians. One of the most effective forms of assistance for me has been in the area of psychosocial support. Mostly so far that has been a support worker who has helped me become more engaged in the wider world, helped me rebuild lost confidence and helped me to generally improve the quality of my life.

Workplaces have been very difficult for me too over my life, with some periods of happier employment, mostly because the employers themselves were good people, and my fellow workers mostly the same. I am retired on a disability pension now, that pension being one of the best things that ever happened to me in my life.

Well wishes to you.

[P12]

@Mazarita 

I'm unsure whether I have a diagnosis. One psychologist said they believe I have a form of Asberger's Syndrome, but I never received any paperwork or other notification. They then said there is no proven treatment for my condition, which made me feel sad because it means I will never change. I'm also unsure they are interested in helping me because I think they feel it is too much effort and futile. I've tried the suggestions recommended by the psychologist and other counsellors, but I don't feel any different to before I began seeking support. 

What is a psychosocial worker and what is a peer support worker? Are they the same thing and where may I find more information about them?

[P12]

@TideisTurning 

Here is what I have tried.

Two GPs

Mental health treatment plan

One clinical psychologist

Four counsellors

Three online courses

SANE forum

Two support groups

Cognitive and behaviour therapy

Acceptance and commitment therapy

Journal articles

Books

Common interest groups

Volunteering

Doing nothing