Not Coping

[Jynx]

@Birdofparadise8 haha yep, ADHD babeeeey. 

Hope your day has been nice n chill 😊

[Birdofparadise8]

He doesn't have ADHD @Jynx 

He is good with everything else other than packing. 

Yeah, it's been alright, I guess. I'm looking forward to doing my new lego set I just bought. What's money hahahah. 

[Jynx]

Didn't presume he did @Birdofparadise8 just meant myself, I leave everything to the last minute. 

Oh cool, what set did you get? 

[Birdofparadise8]

Oh, okay, sorry, silly me then. 

The Disney tribute camera @Jynx 

[Jynx]

No sorry needed @Birdofparadise8 easy to misunderstand with text-based communication. 

Oh neat! Looks really cool, and does it light up? 

[Birdofparadise8]

I don't think so, not on its own @Jynx 

I know you can buy extra things to make it light up, I think. 

Do you know how to stop jumpiness like when you're startled? 

[Jynx]

@Birdofparadise8 hmm... well having a startle response is a natural part of our survival systems, so no way to make it go away entirely (and you wouldn't want it to either!). If it becomes overactive, it can be part of hypervigilance, which is associated with PTSD. I don't nexessarily know a way to make it stop as it is part of a bigger picture, but could be worth bringing up with your psych as something you want to work on in your recovery. 

[Birdofparadise8]

Mmm okay. It's been happening a lot more lately, but it's only around uni. It doesn't happen any other time. I think it's because of the bullying, and it's like I'm on edge and ready to run if someone is mean to me now. Literally, when I go somewhere in this building, either the kitchen, bathroom, common room, down the stairs, the lift or even just walking out of my room, I get startled and I nearly jump it's very obvious I've done it too the person who startled me @Jynx 

I wish it wouldn't happen. It was making me upset yesterday, and I just kept spiralling about how I'm a bad person and a lot of other things. Eh, it's something so small and minor but very annoying. 

[Jynx]

Yeah that makes sense @Birdofparadise8 - complex trauma (like many years of bullying) can make our parasympathetic nervous system overactive - ie we might jump at the smallest things. If it has been increasing, then I doubly recommend bringing it up with your psych to explore possible reasons, and look at some coping tools. 

[Birdofparadise8]

Right okay. Yeah, I was going to mention it to him on Wednesday @Jynx. 

Tomorrow, I'm meeting my friend for lunch. Finally!!!! he is free. It's been over a month since I've seen him. Do some more cleaning. I have to go get the vacuum from the res staff. It's so annoying and big. It's a commercial one that is shit. I would like to go to the gym, but I'm not sure I'll have time. I also need to take my bike and get the tier looked at. I've been meaning to do that for a few days now. ah so much to do. I probably should have done more today. 

Wednesday will be busy for me. I have a clinical trial appointment, which is the last one. It's a bit sad I met the researcher when I was in hospital the first time so that was June, then psych, then I'll need to go home finish everything off and head to the airport for my flight at 7:45 pm.