Lived Experience Forum

[Nomorestigma]

Hi everyone I just wanted to ask how people cope with mental health & relationships? I was diagnosed with schizophrenia at 12yrs & anxiety/depression in the last few years. My psychosis was a result of bullying at school & a turbulent home life. I would like to kindly ask how people work up the courage to be in a relationship? Mental health is not something that people talk about freely & I feel quite lost in how to connect? So many of my friends are settling down but I feel too scared to open up & be vulnerable with anyone. Any guidance/help would be much appreciated ❤️

[Appleblossom]

Hello @Nomorestigma 

Totally support your profile name.

Your opening post had autheniticity and vulnerability.  You can do it.  This is a good place to learn.  Use any online resources that speak to you.

Stay Safe and Take Care

Apple

[Peregrinefalcon]

Hey @Nomorestigma, welcome to the Forums 🙂
That is a really important question to ask. It can feel overhwhelming to think about entering into a relationship when we have a background of complex mental health - Am I ready for this? Will they accept this? How do I even bring it up?  With relationships comes uncertainty, which is not an easy feeling to sit with!! 

Unfortunately (as your username implies!) there can be stigma and misinformation around mental health. At the same time, so many people are facing their own challenges and struggles, too - you are certainly not alone in feeling this way. It does not make you any less worthy of a loving relationship. 

When it seems like everyone else around us is partnered up, we can feel pressured to do the same. It is okay to take it one step at a time and see what feels best for you. 

There are a range of different opinions and approaches to this and as @Appleblossom mentioned, go with what speaks to you. 

Here are a few different articles that might be of interest:

1. https://www.abc.net.au/everyday/when-and-how-to-talk-about-mental-health-in-new-relationship/1229980...

2. https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Living-with-a-Mental-Health-Condition/Romantic-Relationships

3. https://youngminds.org.uk/blog/my-experience-dating-with-a-mental-health-condition/

I hope that connecting with others here on the Forums can be a positive experience for you. There is a wealth of knowledge and wisdom here 🙂

Kind regards

Peregrinefalcon

[Nomorestigma]

Thank you so much for uploading those articles.  I know in theory there are other people out there with the same experience but I wasn't sure where to connect.  These forums have been so helpful & comforting thank you all 🙏🏾

[Croix]

Dear Nomorestigma

I m sorry to hear of  your past life, which has been so very hard on you. It is not surpising after those experences from being bulled - and a bad home life. Taken together they  leave a mark that is hard to erase.

So I'm glad you have been diagnosed. May I ask if you are getting any medical support for those conditions?

I ask because my own problems simply kept on getting worse until I did, now after a fair while I"m good.

I'd also ask if you have anyone, a parent perhaps or a friend  who you can talk things over with, not so much that they can help but just care, so you feel less alone and can get your thoughts in order -it really does help if you can.

Being in a relationship, particularly if there are barriers that make it difficult for you, is really a two person job.

While you may feel you should be talking about your mental heath conditions the other person hopefully will be a sensitive adult and help you.

That help can be as simple as saying "go on", or it can be to suggest only talking about it when you are comfortable, and to simply enjoy each other's company in the meantime.

Forming a serious relationship can be hard, and the person you are attracted to needs to have a kind nature, something to put you at your ease and allow you to, in your turn, help them.

I've met two people who have understood and helped and married each (NO not at the same tine:), so it can happen

Good luck

Voyageur