Lived Experience Forum

[Eden1919]

Hi sorry I really need to rant a bit. I have been crying all day and i am so tired i havent been sleeping lately and i have so much uni work to do i am beside myself i am really trying to get everything done i am but i have missed so much being in and out of hospital and one of my lecturers isnt being very understanding and i dont know what to do. and my case manager wants me to have another assessment to see about duel diagnosis and all this stuff which is frustrating me because i am so sick of having people throw different diagnoses at me when all i want is to be understood and my friend with BPD is not doing well and keeps ending up in hospital and i am worried because the drs keep not taking them seriously and i am worried they will actually end up very hurt and i am trying to be as supportive as i can but i must admit it is draining on me and i am still struggling with a lot myself and keep seeing shadow people and hearing stuff and i just dont feel right my brain feels like jelly and i am just really struggling with everything and idk what to do anymore. 

sorry this is so long and thanks if you read to the end i hope you are having a better day than mine. 

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Eden1919 ,

You can't pour out of an empty cup. Put your life jacket on before you try saving anyone else.

I've learnt this over the course of my recovery. People who are unwell can set you back significantly if you are not strong enough in yourself. I have BPD. I know what it is like not to be taken seriously. This is something I had to navigate ALONE. It is your friend's own journey, as with yours. Being there for your friend doesn't mean drowning so she can keep afloat (just). As you stand strong, you'll be able to lend out a helping hand.

Hope this makes sense. No judgement on my part.

BPDSurvivor

[rivergal]

@Eden1919 @BPDSurvivor @I'm sorry to hear you are feeling burnt out. 
I feel for you. 
I have difficulties with study too. I can no longer do allniters and usually have to go to bed so I can have 6-7 hours sleep at least.
I try to  arrange extensions or fail tasks and redo them or withdraw or fail subjects. Are their some independent student support workers that can help you mediate with the lecturer. 
Wishing  you support with case worker so that you can work out something satisfactory together. 
look after yourself first sleep, rest and reduce stress.
Offer support to your friend after you have truly supported cared and soothed yourself. 

Yes fill up your cup 
sending hugs. 

[BPDSurvivor]

Hello @rivergal  and @Eden1919 ,

I forgot to mention, I'm also studying. It's taken me years to pace myself with uni assignments. I used to get very stressed out with them, but for the first time, this year, I've been ahead of time. 

What has helped with uni is that from the beginning, I applied for an Accessibilty plan which details reasonable adjustments to be made to suit me. My reasonable adjustments include more flexible due dates for assignments, flexibility around practicums and extensions for when and if im in hospital. With this plan to fall back on, I find im always ahead of time and am not falling behind.

Besides uni, im also in the middle of 3 other online courses, work full time and have my own business to run....so yeah. It's all about resting up and pacing yourself. 

BPDSurvivor

[wellwellwellnez]

I recently had to be given similar advice. The cup analogy is really apt.

Part of me also wants to reference the (Jung/Campbell) Hero's Journey. Seems to me, for each other, we can be the mentor, the ally, the test, the elixir, the village, etc. However, at the same time we still need to be our own heroes.

[LostAngel]

@Eden1919 firstly I can see you need support emotional support and maybe even some eduactional support through your uni possibly to help you ctach up or at the very least someone to support you on campusss to manage the work load that your under with studies also It must be so hard trying to help someone else when you yourself are struggling to stay afloat yourself,thirdly I can understand feeling under preasure to get everything done at once,lately especially its been taking me weeks to get some things sorted so my advice is to pace yourself and just focus on getting one thing done at a time or just a couple of small tasks and work your way up from there do what is managable for you at the momment please take care your friend LostAngel

[LostAngel]

@BPDSurvivor Im amazed at how much you are managing day to day wow

[AussieRecharger]

Hey @Eden1919 

I hope you are feeling better and the words of support in this thread help. I just wanted to say it is okay to fail.. You say you don't know what to do about your studies but the classes will still be there next year and you will enjoy the subjects much more when you are not so stressed (let alone retain more of the knowledge). 

Don't try to be perfect, just be you and accept that you are not perfect but your presence when you can be there is perfect for the moment.  Make a list of what's not important right now and it should help you to narrow down what you have to focus on and what you can come back to later. 

Good luck and keep in touch. 

[frog]

Hi @Eden1919 just wanted to say I hear you.

I'm in a low place myself.

But look around. We are not alone.

[Ricardorider]

Hi Eden

i know what you are experiencing. Its a feeling I dislike a lot

being here is the best place to vent and clear the head. I use Lifeline to verbalise how I feel. My psychologist recommended them not that am feeling anything other than annoyed, tired frustrated and need to vent other than writing/ journaling which is very useful

I am medicated for Anxiety depression and PTSD these meds do help to keep things on an even keel but even then I get so worked up. 

i use lifeline as a means of verbalising how i feel and to clear my head as I said. mostly they are very helpful. I f you find a counsellor/.listener who sound more like  aa cow. as in hmm hmm mm mm. I found hanging up and ringing lifeline again. PErhaps this method isnt for everyone, but once a week or fornight I have to

Al the best with the assignment