why can't I cope longer?

[Adge]

Thanks @Zoe7 

I do really like working with young people.

I just haven't had the opportunity often.

I had an 8 y.o Autistic client, years ago - It was lovely, working with him.

He asked me to sing the Postman Pat theme song, all the time.

"Postman Pat with his black & white Cat", has stuck in my brain, ever since then....

Adge

[Zoe7]

haha @Adge those songs do get stuck in our head. On Friday I was singing the Baby Shark song but putting in all our kids names instead - it was really funny for 2 reasons: 1. the kids loved it and 2. I absolutely cannot sing lol

I really do think you would be wonderful at this job - it might even be just what you need. I suppose we will see how it goes for you and if you do get the job you can see how it goes ...if not then there is something better out there for you 👍

[Former-Member]

Hi @Adge I was wondering how the interview went. Don't overthink it, all depends who else is applying same time. Personally, I don't think you should do that night shift. esp if full time, messes with the head too much, you don't need that stress. But it sure sounds like you'd be good with the Kidz. I'm hoping something better comes up but it's still good to practise interviews. Keep at it, don't settle for second best. You'll know what to do. 💙
@Zoe7thanks for thinking of me, yes, slipper found way under bed, must have it all ready before bed as mornings are so stiff.
I got abused in car park today. He used the F word etc. I had to adjust his mirror to open my car door but drove off without putting it back because I couldn't reach it. He unfortunately turned up as I was driving off and I apologised but he still yelled F you!.. Blar blar Blar Think he thought I smashed it. I donno, wasn't sticking around to cop that. What was I supposed to do? wait forever 'till they come back? Anyway, I did no harm, just inconvenience. He was probably tired after hard day. Pitty for me too as it's taken X10 days to get out the house, hate being among people best of times... He was so agressive, reminds me of my abusive brothers... had enough of that crap. Anyway, took me ages to calm down.
Watching Doc Martin atm, he cracks me up. 

[Adge]

Thanks @Former-Member Yes need Interview practice (they're Scary).

I always did very well with 1-on-1 Interviews (they're Rare these days) - Now it's all Panel Interviews (with 2 or 3 or even 4 people Interviewing).

That's really overwhelming.

I worked 5.00am Starts for 6 & 1/2 years - That alone stuffed up my Sleep (& head).

A shift all night would be much worse.

I have always taken whatever (Any) Job that was 1st offered - because only One was ever offered, & it was never a good choice (not suitable).

So I'm trying to practice (learn) not to.

Because whatever Job I start (however Bad), I will feel stuck in for several or Many years - That's the pattern, that is what has Always happened before.

It's been extremely hard to get considered for any other Job position, so it's always taken me years (each time) - To get something else, & to move on.

Thanks.

Adge

[Zoe7]

@Former-Member Some people just need to think before they react hey. No need for abuse - just ridiculous. Hope you have recovered okay today 

[Emelia8]

Dear @Former-Member 💕😔  I just read your worry room post and am concerned for you. Whats going on gorgeous ... anything you feel you can talk about?

Emelia 🌷🍀🌹🌻💗🐶

[Former-Member]

Oh thanks Emelia8, I don't wanna add to your heavy load. Just sooooo lonely it's eating me up. Doesn't seem to be much point living like this. And now I feel guilty for not being more grateful that things aren't worse. I have everything physical I need. I'm crying a lot today. The echos in my head are screaming:
'self pity'
'laziness'
'lack of faith'
'a choice'
'suck it up!'
'your problem!'
'go away'
Think I'm losing my mind 'cause I just keep falling in this hole, can't function, want to get out, try, harder each time, so tired.
Guess you know about tired. Do you have any validation in the real world? I don't feel it,vi just don't. Oh dear. I know you care. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers, and listening 💐🌷

[Former-Member]

Might need a tub of icecream or loud movie to drown out the head mouse. Loud whistles in my ears atm, definately something amiss.

[Former-Member]

Yep, lots of ✔️ no comments. Island!

[Emelia8]

Im sorry @Former-Member about all of that. And thank you for explaining.

Yes, you are right ... I do care about you. I have always liked you from when we first met. Both of us under different names then.

I want to help, and really wish I could. But my own resources are very low right now. All I can offer is an understanding ear and an open heart. You have both of those from me.

Regarding the noises you are hearing in ears and head ... if it does not improve soon, do you think it may be worth getting in to see your GP?

Emelia 💞