Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Flick]

Yeah @LivingAdl, I can relate in the sense that I wish I had this approach 11 years ago when I had my first breakdown (I ended up with the CATTeam, psychiatrists, medication, etc).

It is really hard for families, and I think what Open Dialogue tries to say is that families need support, not to have someone labelled and medicated in isolation from their support networks.

There's a lot of cross-over with hearing voices groups, nothing official, but lots of the same people interested in both approaches.

It's an interesting question about functional medicine/dieticians. The network meeting is really open to whatever people think might be useful. It's possible that someone will suggest that that's what might be useful, and there's no reason why it couldn't be tried. Perhaps the person might benefit from a gym membership, or perhaps dad needs a way to blow off steam because he's been finding the whole thing a strain ... 

I should also add that there are many good mental health workers out there who do already think in these kinds of ways - my own psychiatrist taught me meditation and told me to take fish oil (there's a lot of research that it helps repair brains affected by trauma). Open Dialogue is not so much about criticising the current system (although there is much to say!), but about working with what is good, including the sorts of non-psychiatric adjunct approaches.

[CherryBomb]

It's seem like you've endured for quite some time @LivingAdl. May I ask how long have you been attending Hearing Voices? And are you finding it helpful?

@Flick in regards to your point  that Open Dialogue is always something we've done naturally. In one of conversations you mentioned that although it's not readily available here in Australia, it can be helpful to remember that we can apply its principles to our every day living.

What might this look for someone caring for someone? Would be like setting up a meeting with family and friends to get to the heart of what might be distressing for their loved one?

[LivingAdl]

thank you for the positive comments.  You are right - I am finding the health professionals & people who will help the situation, and EFM Health Club have a personal trainer program 5 weeks for $25 - my son is exciting to think he will have a personal trainer (we have been discussing for around 1 year with him not interested, but I just went ahead anyway & now he is excited...!)

[Flick]

 @CherryBomb Yes! That is right - Open Dialogue sees families as a crucial resource in supporting people in their experiences of crisis, distress and wellness.

And there's more. Open Dialogue takes what's called a "network approach" to crises. It doesn't act as if there's one "sick" person, and everyone else is there simply to "help" them, but it also doesn't bring together the whole family to treat them as if they are all sick! (Sometimes there have been ways in which family therapy can treat the whole family as sick, or feel like it's blaming mum or dad).

What it does do is look at how the whole system is functioning, and argues that crises happen when there aren't enough resources for the system, or that there's some breakdown in the system. It's not about blaming anyone, but about bringing in more support - more voices, more thinking, more listening. It's quite extraordinary to hear what families come up with when they are really deeply listened to and listening to each other. It's not about replacing the network of support with an articificial network (hospitals, professionals), but about using those professional supports to be useful to the network.

[Flick]

 @CherryBomb Yes! That is right - Open Dialogue sees families as a crucial resource in supporting people in their experiences of crisis, distress and wellness.

[Flick]

And there's more. Open Dialogue takes what's called a "network approach" to crises. It doesn't act as if there's one "sick" person, and everyone else is there simply to "help" them, but it also doesn't bring together the whole family to treat them as if they are all sick! (Sometimes there have been ways in which family therapy can treat the whole family as sick, or feel like it's blaming mum or dad).

[BeHappy]

@FlickI think many carers can feel like they've exhausted all options, which includes exhausting themselves in the process!

But I guess what I'm hearing is that there is often an untapped resource with a person's social network, where many solution acutally exist if you can dig deep

[Shaz51]

Hi @Flick, yes, there was just me and my husband at our family meeting after he was in hospital and i felt that all my husband getting better was on my shoulders

[Shaz51]

That is so true @BeHappy, I feel I am all alone ,

so what can we do @Flick

[Flick]

@CherryBomb It's an interesting question - what can we do if we can't access the professional support that is really meeting out needs, can we do something ourselves?

I think it's an idea that's worth people thinking through for themselves - what is possible?

For me personally, in my relationship with my own family, I have tried really hard to think about how can I open up space for my family members to be really heard, rather than trying to change them.

Likewise, we can model this with clinicians (it's like up-managing at work, you know, when you manage your boss!) - if we ask things like "I'm really interested to understand more, why do you think increasing the dosage at this time is a good idea?" And to actually be really interested in the answer. I admit this is HARD work, and is harder the more we want to change people (e.g. if they are doing things that are hurting someone we love), but it really is key, in my opinion, to listen in the way that we want to be listened to.

I do also think there's merit in this idea of calling a meeting ourselves. The only problem is how we can facilitate if we are emotionally involved ourselves.

My mother is having a really difficult time with my grandmother at the moment - it's not quite crisis, but it's not far off - and part of me wants to jump in and facilitate an Open Dialogue-style meeting, but I am aware that I am too involved myself. If it became necessary, perhaps I might ask a friend who is less emotionally involved.

[Flick]

@BeHappy Yes, Open Dialogue is not designed to be do-it-yourself, it's supposed to be a resource for exhausted families!! 

You're right about that untapped resource - there's something quite powerful about bringing together everyone who is at the heart of the crisis, as well as others who are involved but not so heated about it. For example, I wonder if maybe a sibling might be usefully involved - in any generation.

In Open Dialogue, where it is practiced with clinicians, the network might involve a school teacher, a drug and alcohol worker, an employer, a colleague, a best friend, a team-mate, siblings, parents, ... anyone who knows about what is going on and might be able to be part of the dialogue.

[Cat64]

We live ina small community of about 200 and is very judgemental. G didn't have friends and can't work. He is on 4 anti psychotics right now which he is not responding to. Had been in hospital 7.5 we weeks with 3 trial over night stays all failed. I have tried to get phone counseling but can't. So not sure what to do.I am not near a computer now so can't research open dialog but will as it is just what we need. Hopefully when G is well again we can try and get it happening. Right now I just need a rest. This episode has now gone on for almost 4 months.