Lived Experience Forum

[greenspace]

Wish me luck - this will be the first year ever that I'm not having Christmas with my aunt (other than when I've been out of the country, or one of us has been in hospital).

I'm 52 and I've finally found the courage to go to a friend's place instead of my aunt's.

It's too hard gping to the same place where I will miss my late mother so much, and where there's nothing I can eat because my aunt ignores my food intolerances and preferences (I react really badly to salicylate, plus I'm vegetarian, both of which my aunt has ignored for over 15 years).

I haven't told her yet, although my sister knows, and of course the friend I'll visit - he also finds Xmas very distressing on top of having bipolar disorder, so we're going to have an un-Christmas, eat sandwiches and watch an 80s movie 😀

I'll ring my aunt on the day and tell her I have to see my friend because he's so distressed (he has been, and is changing meds this week 😕), and his mum is dying of cancer, she's interstate and he can't travel (also true).

I'm hoping this will save my aunt from being hurt by thinking I planned to avoid her Christmas by choice, because she is just not open to having that conversation.

[Phoenix_Rising]

I am super sorry to hear of your loss today @Shaz51. 

[BlueBay]

Hi @NikNik

For me Christmas is a time to enjoy with my own children and now a grand daughter as well.  We sit in a circle and open our presents one by one and listen to the carols.  And after we eat we play a game eg. pictionary. The past few years have been hard for me without talking to my parents and missing my dad so much. But this year even though I am now speaking to them they still won't come over and it hurts so much.  I have to remind myself that I have my own children and grand child now to enjoy the day.

We sometimes get too caught up with the stress and the amount of money spent on presents because 'we have to'.  This year we have decided to cut back on presents because of our lack of finances due to me being in hospital a few times and not getting paid.  I think we just need to stop and breathe.

Enjoy the day as best as we can 🙂

[greenspace]

@CrazyTiger Best wishes for getting through it okay

[NikNik]

Welcome @CrazyTiger

Sadly, you're not alone. Christmas is often particularly tough for those who've had a difficult childhood. I can tell you, your among people here who are in the same boat.

Sometimes it's just getting through the day is the aim. How do you mange to struggle through it @CrazyTiger ?

[CheerBear]

So sorry to hear @Shaz51 😞

@greenspace an un-christmas with a friend sounds like a really good thing to do for you when the usual is hard. Wishing you best of luck with it.

[Former-Member]

@greenspaceI think it is great that you are doing what you want to do on xmas day, instead of what others want you to do. I hope you have a lovely day.

[BlueBay]

My dear friend @Shaz51

I'm so sorry for your loss,

hugs to you my friend xxxooo

[NikNik]

Good on you for reclaiming Christmas @greenspace - it takes a lot of bravery and sometimes simply isn't an option for some.
80s movies sounds so great! Good on you! and what a lucky person your friend is to have you support them through Christmas.

[Shaz51]

thankyou @CheerBear, @BlueBay, @Phoenix_Rising