Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Sally_Morris]

@BeHappy

It sounds like your friend is Transgender - though they may not identify with that word!

Here is some more information (that I put together earlier) about gender and transgender

Gender identity is a part of a persons personal and social identity, and refers to the way a person feels, presents and is recognised in the community as female and/or male.  

Transgender and Trans are terms used to describe an individual whose gender identity does not align with the sex they were assigned at birth based on what their body looks like on the outside.

Gender identities are formed at an early age and are affected by many different factors, including what society values as the role and identity of being a male or female.

Many trans people will make changes to their body to better reflect their gender, and to be seen to the world as who they are.  This might be achieved through medical treatment with hormones and surgery.

 Some trans people will identify as male or female, but it is important to note that many people consider their gender identity to fall outside of the traditional (and limited) woman to man spectrum and may use other language to describe their gender.

 People from Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities have specific unique cultural experiences of gender, and use the terms Sistergirl and Brotherboy to describe this diversity of gender.

Many societies from around the world have more than two traditional genders, and will use culturally specific language to refer to this diversity of gender (e.g. Hijras of India, Khawaja sara of Pakistan, Fa’afafine of Polynesia, Kathoeys or ‘Ladyboys’ of Thailand, Two-Spirit people of North America Indigenous people)

Gender is independent of sexuality and so trans people may also identify as heterosexual, gay, bisexual,

People may use other words to describe their gender identify and experience of their gender, such as Gender Queer, Bi-Gendered, Agender, Gender Diverse,

[Shaz51]

that is a really good question @BeHappy

[BeHappy]

That's really helpful @Sally_Morris, thanks you.

So I have a female body, and identify as female,  this makes me cis female? Sorry, I feel stupid for asking...

[Sally_Morris]

When someone changes their gender it can be really hard for us to get our head around the changes in language - but it is really important to always refer to them by the name that they prefer to be called, and by the pronouns that they prefer to be used when speaking about them.

I find that it can be helpful to practice!   Show down your speach to let your head catch up, and be really mindful about your language.  And if you make a mistake, catch yourself and correct yourself - even if Jane isn't there with you - this will help you practice and get it right in the future.

Even a small thing like getting their name and pronoun right can go a REALLY long way to help someone feel loved, accepted, important and validated.

[Sally_Morris]

@BeHappy  Yep that is right!  Dont feel silly for asking!  when you ask you learn!  I am also a Cis Female because I have a female body and my gender is also female

[Sally_Morris]

Essentially Cis means 'the same' where as 'Trans' means to move.  So Cis people have a gender that is the same as their body, and Trans people move their body to match their gender. 

[greenspace]

"That is really wonderful to hear!  Not all people have this experience of finding their community when they go looking for it - there are many things that can get in the way - like living in a rural and regional area where there may be less visible LGBTI people and less spaces where LGBTI people feel safe to gather in public".

That's what I'm finding now, living in a regional town. I moved here from the inner west of Sydney, and I miss the diversity, and places like Newtown

[Sally_Morris]

I can imangine that moving from a place with a really visible vibrant active LGBTI community to a regional town where LGBTI people are relatively invisible would be really hard.

Though remember, LGBTI people are EVERYWHERE!  So even though they may not be as visible, they will still be there.   So finding community becomes a bit more difficult than going out to your local pub

@greenspace what have you tried so far to connect with other LGBTI people?

[BeHappy]

Got it!! Thanks so much @Sally_Morris

So since my friend came out, I feel like we've lost connection. It's not because I don't want to maintain a friendship, I have reached out but there seems to be some walls. Not sure why. I guess my question is how can you support someone going through a transition? Or even support someone who is coming out?

[Former-Member]

Welcome @greenspace

Thank you for sharing that, so your regional lived experience has less diversity than the city. That sounds tough. If you don't mind me asking are there things that you find particularly challenging now?