Depression and Anxiety

[Candlelight204]

Hey everyone, I have been unemployed for three months and recently I just lost a family pet for which I am devastated. I am feeling overwhelmed and anxious for the future because I don't know what to do. The job I had was my first job from university and now losing it has left me feeling hopeless. I don't know who to talk to because of my budget I can't go out and socialise. So I am feeling emotional. 

Please if anyone is out there tell me how to deal with this situation.

[tyme]

Hey @Candlelight204 ,

I'm sorry to hear that things are pretty hard right now.

Jobs come, jobs go. Are you still looking for another job?

At the same time, does socialising always require a lot of money? Are you one for getting out in nature? Going to a park?

I hear you may be feeling quite down right now. Good on you for reaching out because it helps you stay connected. 

Maybe socialising can be phoning someone?

What do you think?

[Walkoneggshells]

Hi candlelight204  Sorry you and others have been going through anxiety and depression. I have also had a lot of problems with depression. I found that the answer is not a simple one. You cannot just snap out of it. I found it was a long difficult journey the quick but difficult answer is hard to comprehend. It is that we make ourselves depressed. The way we think and what we tell ourselves is the way we feel. So if you don’t believe in yourselves you will feel negative. It is about changing the internal message you are telling your self. . Having said that when I first heard this I thought it was a load of rubbish and remained depressed. It was not till I went on a program that thought CDT that I started the journey of challenging what I said to my self. Then I started to feel better. It took years to Chang the internal message. I still have problems with depression but it is not as severe. Try to stop when you feel negative and think what you are saying to yourself. This is not a quick fix and is best worked through with a psychologist. I also found that not all therapist are the same and you have to look for one who understands and is able to help you. I have spent years looking for a good psychologist and found one that is helping me understand myself. Hope this helps. Hope you feel back to yourself soon, There is hope. 

[Lily25]

Hey 

First of all I'm sorry things have gotten tough for you, it's okay to grief.

I would say be proud of yourself, Yes you may have lost your job but you also had it for how long?

And that's something to remember when you are feeling down.

Always be kind to yourself 

[Lula]

@Candlelight204 

I’m SO sorry to read you recently lost your family pet.  Maybe that’s the hardest part for you at the moment Candlelight.  I lost my dog about 3 months ago and I am still not coping - I have depression and anxiety which I think would not be so bad if I still had him. I think I went into shock when he passed because it was so unexpected, and I’m still dealing with the grief.

Perhaps you could try volunteering as a way to meet some people and occupy some time. Along the way you might even get a free coffee. ❤️

[Peace4now]

@Candlelight204 

Thanks for reaching out, it can be very difficult when you lose a pet that was very close, and in time, I hope you heal and hold on to happy memories.

Have you considered applying with Centrelink for any payments, including rent assistance? Have you registered with a couple of recruitment agencies? I would highly recommend contacting and visiting your local community centre, for assistance with food vouchers, public transport vouchers, and much more. These are all free services, provided by the government, and the workers are welcoming and want to assist you.

Personally, I have accessed a sole parent pension, and other services including toiletries, food packages, and new clothing.

I would highly recommend visiting your GP to find out about what other services there are in your local area, and to discuss your mental health.

Take care

[Lula]

@Walkoneggshells

You say that “we make ourselves depressed” - I don’t necessarily agree with that. It may be the case for some people, but I don’t see myself in that situation. I come from a very dysfunctional family and grew up surrounded by a lot of tension for all sorts of reasons.

My father was quite unable to manage and show his emotions, even the happy ones.  If there were upsets of different kinds he responded with anger.  My parents were not suited to each other, or to marriage, and my mother was intimidated by her husband.  I only remember my father telling me he loved me once, and that was in a letter.  My father also didn’t know how to show physical affection, and my mother didn’t like physical contact.

My mother did tell me she loved me from time to time, but it usually came at or near the end of some big upset, if at all, and I never felt like she really meant it, or that it was heart-felt.

Neither of my parents gave me much of their time in positive ways either.

So growing up with that tension, feeling lost and lonely, and not really feeling loved as a child, a teenager, and into adulthood had a huge impact on me and I never learnt to overcome it, which brings me to where I am now - depressed and with anxiety.  Obviously, I guess, there’s a lot more to the story.

[defaultusername]

Hi @Candlelight204,

Welcome to the Forum and thank you for sharing with us.

I am very sorry for yours and your family's loss, losing an animal companion is so painful and difficult… And is often misunderstood by those that aren't animal lovers.

Here is a resource from Griefline about the grief we feel when we lose an animal and some reminders for how to take care of ourselves. There is also a 'Loss of a Pet' forum on their website if you feel the need to vent, or simply connect with others that are in a similar situation.

I can see how difficult losing your job must be for you, especially in the current cost of living crisis. I think @Peace4now's advice is really good, have you looked into Centrelink and different types of assistance with food and everyday essentials? Which are available through Salvation Army and St. Vincent de Paul.

There is also the National Debt Helpline which is available via phone (weekdays 9:30am — 4:30pm) or online chat (weekdays 9am – 8pm) where you can speak to a financial counsellor for some advice.

I hope that today is better for you.

Know that you're not alone.