FND any one else?

[Judymay]

Thank you that would be really nice! 

it is super toxic and I feel terrible because I can't even express my emotions to my mum and I know she cares but she's in the thick of it and doesn't get it and it makes her hell worse and I can't get any worse so no point.

i have a psychologist but im non verbal and so have had do email and in an hour little feels done or any connection and I just walk away feeling like im wasting sessions.

i am at a loss, i am so worried about my mental health and have no help options left. I have desperately tried everything.

[Jynx]

Oh true you're non verbal @Judymay? That would be such a barrier to accessing support!!

I am about to log off for the evening, but you're still more than welcome to share as much as you like in this space, and I will respond when I am next on - and I imagine others reading along would also be interested in your story!

Feel free to tag me any time (use the @ symbol and a drop down will appear, and you can choose their name. If their name isn't there, you can type it out and it should then appear for you to select, then it will show up in blue) and I'll come chat when next I'm online 😉

[Judymay]

Thank you @Jynx I will remember that and am grateful I found this space when there is nothing else currently. I just wrote this tonight I miss everything and everywhere I look all I see is loss. I wish I could redo, buts that's always the way. 

Don't miss a thing

If you can speak, speak life and tell the special people you love them and ensure them of their worth in your life. And if you find words, sing, good or bad, someone will miss that voice one day.

If you can walk, choose to dance, like hard and like no one is watching, and do it around those you love and laugh with. Great joy is found here.

If you can use your arms, hug with your all, embrace those around you and only let them go when you have to.

If you are fortunate enough to be creative, with an instrument, or craft, go wild, share it, express it daily and record it, creativity is caramel for the soul.

If you can sit, sit in a bath, sit on the beach and the grass. Feel the grounding of the earth and the reminder that you are part of a universe that is full of so much beauty.

If you can move without restriction, go to all the places, swim in the ocean, get on the plane, walk the mountain, captivate yourself in the views, experience and appreciate culture and traditions.

In conclusion, life is unpredictable and short, and the world is so broken. You do not know what tomorrow brings so I encourage you, be present, and don't be wasteful with moments. Be intentional especially when it comes to enjoying and experiencing this life, for it just may change before you get to remember to truly live.

And LOVE family and friends, openly and expressively. If people choose to love you and want you, don't take it for granted. It is life's greatest treasure so let them know. You just don't know what life will do and it's better to give everything than regret later not giving your all.

Yours sincerely

Someone reflecting and grieving after life altering moments

[Jynx]

Really beautiful words @Judymay thank you for sharing. Positive affirmations always help me 😊

Hope you're doing okay this afternoon! 💜

[8ppleTree]

Hi @Judymay 

Your words are very moving. You're so right. Life can change in a second, change is all there is really, but many people are unaware of its capacity. Your writing is very beautiful. Thank you for sharing 💜  Have you always been a writer? 

How are you today? 

[Judymay]

Hi @8ppleTree 

Thank you, for over 20 years writing and playing music has been my outlet for expression. When something personal or someone I love goes through something it evokes emotion and I just create music and lyrics. Its been a gift.

After losing my voice and right side functioning I haven't been able to play most instruments and sing. Being in  hospital for 14 weeks and struggling with the loss and headspace I had to find another way to express and externalise so I began to write. 

since then I have written over 150 pieces. It's been very therapeutic for me and I've been able to share with people and help them connect with the words which is a gift because my desire is to always connect with people and let them know they are not alone. In the process of figuring out how to positively use of them to support others.

I was a social worker and behaviour analyst before life changed so I am naturally and professionally wired to seek out ways to connect with people and make people feel heard. Especially after my own experiences,

I will attach another one below 

Empathy in need (written 20/8/2024)

I've come across a harsh truth that saddens me to acknowledge, but maybe by identifying, hope can be implored, we are living in a society where it seems no one wants to care

Is it compassion fatigue, is everyone burnt out, has the race of life and endless needs spiralled us into depression, all I observe is that the extension of empathy towards others is rare

Sadly that cycle of fatigue and depression leads to a revolving door, that is hard to get off, we don't even realise it, but by doing it we've also denied care to ourselves

See empathy starts within us and when we ignore it we lack the ability to also pass it forward, we become ignorant of the kindness and care that ourself and the world so desperately compels

Its hard to listen sometimes, I really understand, we have schedules, time frames, busy lives, the care that is needed doesn't always in our capacity align

To be able to listen and extend empathy towards others we first need to look within ourselves, and give the empathy our inner soul cries for, there we may find clarity that empathy deserves our time

See it's human desire as we sometimes flounder through this life in it's struggle, we all need to be seen with grace and care, especially when this world can be unkind

Please don't give up on yourself or others, empathy is so valued and allows people to heal and rise, be intentional and reach out with care, don't let the essence of humanity be declined

[8ppleTree]

@Judymay 

Thank you so much for your writing. It really gives me hope. Yes, compassion fatigue and the cynics of this world can really put up obstacles, but the biggest obstacle is not extending the compassion to ourselves first, I so agree! If only somehow we were taught to do so early on, many imbalances could be redressed.  

I am certain that your writing is therapeutic for others, not just you 💗 

Kindness is forever x 

[MJG017]

Thank you for what you've written @Judymay, it so wonderfully describes a lot of what i've tried to look at about myself these past few months.  I'm only just beginning to see ways forward and I credit so much of that to having more caring and empathetic people around me, which has brought those same traits out in me.  Hidden for far too long.

I hope you can start to find some help options for yourself soon.

[Judymay]

Thank you @8ppleTree 

@I have written a few in kindness and different aspects of mental health. Actually you could probably name a topic and I've written about it😂😂

It's been very therapeutic and my main outlet. When you can't verbally speak you are left in your head more than usual which is crazy because I didn't think I could get more in my head but here I am 😂😂

My ambition is to alway be what I want so hearing people and meeting them where they at is one of my greatest goals especially in such a busy and chaotic world. 

[Judymay]

Thank you @MJG017 

This forum has been a great resource for me. I chose to come off social media on the weekend. I don't know for how long but right now I need to prioritise my mental health and I find it challenging watching everyone see me but not acknowledge me. I know it's social media but when did we become so desensitised to others struggles. I always make sure I use it for cheering people on and love the great pages I find with positive things but just found some things were negative and I'm not someone to offend people and I find people get funny when you delete them even though all they do is watch so I just decided for now to take a break till I refocus and utilise it better or manage some of it better.

Anyway I am remote and being in a wheelchair and only my mum I don't get out much and have limited connection so finding sane forums has been very helpful to connect. 

I wrote this about social media. I do hope I can do this better in the future. 

The onlookers (written 2/8/2024)

What has the world become, have we numbed ourselves to all the pain

The suffering we constantly see is it too much, with social media what do we gain

I get it, sometimes it distracts, it’s a way to waste time, to unwind

But often I think the overwhelm of it all leaves the opportunity for connection behind

Why was it created, I thought interaction was is it’s intentional purpose

But often people find the comparison, the news, only seeing the highlights of people's lives hurt us

Is mental health more problematic because of this easy accessible paralysing tool?

Is the desensitisation of all the adversity creating us to appear cruel?

Cos all I see is onlookers that stare in these small parts of my life

That I choose to share in hopes for connection and kindness to be found when I share strife

The friends list is vast, the followers all appear to be many

But those that choose to interact is minimum if any

It’s hard because I have relationships that are challenged by distance

But social media allows me to feel apart of their world, this tool is an assistance

So how do we choose to positively engage this tool and not be paralysed by what we see

For I know I’ve been an onlooker too and when seen someone shares hardship I too have remained silent I have to agree

How do we use it to extend kindness, share, encourage, for the purpose I believe it was initially created for

How do we go back to the basics of human interactions the way they were before

Before life was too busy, chaotic, before time ruled the world

Before we let the thief of comparison in our mind choose to swirl

It only takes a moment so find kindness, share a thought or two

For the answers or support to someone’s problem or encouragement to their hardship could be you