Since I’ve gone through things that have worked for me, how about we discuss things that have NOT worked for me:
1. Telling me what to do
As someone with BPD, my life was out of control. If you told me what to do, I usually dug my heels in and did the opposite. Why? Because if you told me to do something, I felt you were trying to rob me of the little control I did have.
Rather, try ‘inviting’ your loved one to do something which thus EMPOWERS them and helps them feel in control. Sounds strange, eh? Words mean a lot. Instead of saying, “Breathe through this moment”, try “I invite you to breathe through this moment”.
Instead of saying, “Go an see a therapist”, try “Do you think it is a good idea to see a therapist?”
These are just 2 examples. Empowering a pwBPD can be done in a multitude of ways.
2. Keeping me in an inpatient unit
Undoubtedly, inpatient units have their place. For me, I often left a unit worse off than when I entered. The trauma and stress of being confined and having people control my every move was detrimental for me.
Research has shown that services such as Prevention and Recovery Centres (PARCs) are more helpful for pwBPD. These centres focus on recovery, and work with the person to set recovery goals.
3. Medication
I’d like to talk a little about the role of medication in pwBPD. BPD itself is not treated with medication. However, medication does help alleviate some symptoms of BPD such as depression and anxiety. For me, when my symptoms (anxiety, depression, insomnia) were stabilised, I could then focus on the psychotherapy needed to help me learn new helpful ways of thinking which ultimately affected my behaviour.
Question 3
What are some things that haven’t worked for you when interacting with someone with BPD?
