Topic Tuesday // Is it okay to ignore Christmas? // 19 Dec, 7pm AEDT

[NikNik]

Christmas Christmas everywhere! Between Mariah's  'All I want for Christmas is you' blasting on the radio and being wished a Merry Christmas by the shop assistant you just talked you into spending more money on a Christmas present for a Great Aunt, it's like you can't escape it!

Is it possible for us to ignore Christmas? 

This Topic Tuesday we will be discussing whether we can ignore Christmas and or at least make it more bearable. 

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Join us at 7pm AEDT

[NikNik]

Good evening everyone!

A shoutout to @Fee1  @-Rayne- @frog @Cherry1 @Laurana @Former-Member @Bubbles3 @coatington @Former-Member @Atypical1803 @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Queenie @Bronwyn @CrazyTiger @Former-Member @CheerBear

While for me it’s drowning in a “festive”  to-do list and the pressure of making sure I buy something for everyone and then feeling completely overwhelmed for 24 - 48 hours, without a break, that well, breaks me, I know it can be much more complex for a lot of people.

It can be a time of feeling isolated, while other around you seem so connected, re-traumatization of memories experiences in years gone by or the fresh sadness of grief over the loss of loved ones.

Whatever it is that is making you dread Christmas – hopefully we can brainstorm some ways to make this time of year easier.

So to kick it off, lets here it:

Christmas - love it, like it, loathe it?

[Phoenix_Rising]

Good evening @NikNik,

I am indifferent to Christmas. It is simply another day in my world...except that I eat a LOT of food. 

[Phoenix_Rising]

@NikNik I think for me, the challenge of Christmas isn't the day itself, but rather, the way the whole world stops for a couple of weeks afterwards. I am extremely socially isolated and with my GP and psychologist both on leave, I have zero support here in the real world. 

[CheerBear]

Hi @NikNik and everyone 🙂

I find I love, like and loathe Christmas, sometimes at different times and sometimes at the same time which is part of what makes this time of the year difficult for me. It's up and down and all over the place!

[Maggie]

@NikNik@Phoenix_Rising I seem to dread Christmas all year for many reasons. It's the reminders of a family I never had nor never will have. The same with connections, I don't connect, ever. Though I live alone and spent most of my time alone, Christmas feels well, more alone, if that's  possible.

[NikNik]

OooOHHhhhhh what type of food @Phoenix_Rising ?

I share your mixed feelings @CheerBear I usually don't have any issues about the day itself, but I get quite anxious about buying gifts for people and cooking for people (oh god... what if I poison them all! What if they hate the present! Have I forgotten anyone?)

@Phoenix_Rising - you raise a really good point. For a lot of people there is a lack of support - often when people need it most!

[mj08]

I used to enjoy Christmas. My mother always made a big fuss of it, just like she did for birthdays.

But it was all fake. She was just trying to make up for the fact that she chose to stay married to my father, a chronic alcoholic. The baubles and presents and food could never make up for everything we went through.

So as I got older, I was more ambivalent. And then I miscarried twins on Christmas Eve three years ago.

[Former-Member]

@CheerBearcouldn't agree with you more. I love/loathe it at the same time.

I love the fact my kids get so much joy out of it, but I am dreading the rest. Seeing family, acting like everything is ok, having them whisper about me behind my back and judge me, having to plaster a fake smile on my face all day.

And then it doesn't end there. Christmas day my family and the have to do the whole thing again with hubbys family.

What I want is to hide in my room and not come out. 

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Maggie I can very much relate to what you said about Christmas feeling more lonely than other times of the year. As I shared on the Christmas thread, I used to struggle immensely with loneliness at Christmas time. However, I really have learnt to be more ok with it through creating my own family traditions (just without the family bit!).

@NikNik I have pancakes for breakfast. Then I have prawns for lunch and dinner (I buy a kilo!!!!). I also have a box of Lindt chocolate balls and a jar of chocolate sultanas. HOPEFULLY the chocolates will last into boxing day...but there's a chance they won't! 

@NikNik It sounds strange to me hearing you talk about being anxious buying gifts for people and cooking for them. That sounds super fun to me!

It super bugs me that services shut down over Christmas. If I was a psychologist, I would take time off in November and then make sure I was available to my clients over the Christmas period except for the public holidays. The fact that so many mental health professionals take this time off really reinforces to me how much their clients are just a job to them and they don't really authentically care about them.