Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT

[Daisydreamer]

Thank you for joining us here tonight @Farmboy and we hope to see you around the forums again soon 🙂

[Jillaroo]

We have tried to be inclusive of the young mum in regards to the care, growth and development of her child by encouraging the young mum to express how she feels, breaking down the options, unpacking the options and supporting her with the decisions.
The child lives with her grandmother and the young mum parents her child there.

The young mum is supported with somewhere to stay, availability of food and a home.
As we are in a rural area, are there any support organisations that either the young mum or carers can tap into?
Her Grandmother wants to support her daughter and grand daughter but it is becoming more and more difficult as the grandmother is a single parent with a teenager also. They need to work and not being able to have set days that she can feel comfortable having someone in to care for grand daughter and assist her daughter makes working part time difficult which she needs to do to ensure her accommodation etc.

[Determined]

@tyme 

Re boundaries, I tried as much as I could to include my darling. Being able to do this in the  hospital setting made it possible.

I also discussed at length with a counsellor and feedback on lived experie ce and carers side here to be a gentle as I could.

Some things however relating to safety had to be black and white.

I like to refer them for this reason as loving guidelines not rules to be enforced. 

[Maybe1]

Our daughter is very compassionate, caring and thoughtful. She is driven when putting her mind to it. She is a disability support worker.

[tyme]

Another hint/strategy @Maybe1 @Farmboy @Determined when caring for a loved one, discussions work best and are most productive when all are in a relaxed frame of mind.

For me, setting boundaries when I was heightened or triggered was a NO NO! I was beyond reason. When heightened, the emotional brain takes over (very often for pwBPD), and the rational brain becomes close to non-existent.

This is were meltdowns come in!

[cloudcore]

I can understand the hurt experienced at the dismissal of your concerns @Determined , it leaves us feeling really powerless. It sounds like an all round really awful experience. I hope you're able to do something nice or relaxing for yourself this evening, as I know these conversations can bring up a lot of those feelings again. 

Here with you 💛

[tyme]

Wow @Maybe1 !

I have met so many people with BPD and most seem to go into careers where they 'help' others. Isn't this fascinating! It just shows the qualities of pwBPD, as well as the qualities of their carers!

Persist my friend. There's good things to come!

tyme

[Determined]

100% @tyme 

These discussions can only happen when things are stable. (Ornour version of stable at least) .

We have come a long way and had numerous discussions around wanting to create a secure and safe feeling environment for my darling. She mostly accepts this now.

[Daisydreamer]

We are coming to the end of our live event tonight, but the conversation doesn't stop here. You are more than welcome to head over to Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script to keep connecting and sharing your experiences, tips and support. 

A huge thank you to everyone who joined us tonight! To @Determined @Farmboy @Maybe1 @BlueBay @PTG @Jillaroo @Shaz51, thank you for sharing openly about your experiences, and we hope there has been something helpful to take back into your lives and homes

There are also some amazing tips in our previous live event you are welcome to check out: LIVE CHAT: BPD for Friends, Family and Carers - This Sunday 3rd October 7:00-8:30pm AEDT 

To our amazing guest, @tyme, thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your story, insights and ideas. Reading the responses, I could see so much agreement with your experience and ideas, it has been such a pleasure 🙂 We are so lucky to have you here in the forums as a peer worker 🙂 

One final shout out to @cloudcore for your amazing peer support tonight!

Goodnight everyone and we look forward to chatting again in a fortnight at our next Topic Tuesday

[cloudcore]

Good night everyone, thanks so much for this discussion! 

cloudcore ⛅