Support for Single Men

[TheRenegade345]

@MJG017 

I feel like people who get into relationships early in their life or people who are in and out of relationships or people who cheat a lot are the ones that tend not to understand what its like on our perspective. I understand that is a generalisation, but I think there is a certain group of people out there who are lucky to have the requisite skills to get into relationships. 

I know I struggle a lot so I know what you mean. It feels like they are almost gloating about it too.

[TheRenegade345]

So I am going to the cricket tomorrow and I know that I will see people in relationships and couples sitting together. There was a time where I actually had to go home from the cricket once because it made me so sad.

I was wondering if anyone has advice or any strategies to deal with this stuff when they are in public, they know they are going to see couples, and there's no easy way out of it. I just try to bulldoze my way through the pain but I was wondering if anyone had any advice?

[chibam]

@TheRenegade345  @MJG017 @tyme @Wesco5454

So the "Married At First Sight" ads have started up again. Once again starring a line-up composed almost entirely of Hemsworth-or-hotter good lookers. And everyone is seemingly eccentric is some controversial way*; although my inner cynic tells me it's more likely to be an engineered act for the purposes of getting ratings than a genuine expression of who these people are.

Then there's the mashup of clips of all these people going: "I never thought I'd get a happy ending, but it's come true!", weeping tears of joy at the alter. And it really leaves me wondering if maybe people like that could help me.

At the end of the day, I know I'd never be able to hack baring myself to a national audience like that. Australia would hate me, and the social media hatestorm would be more then I could hack. But I really wish there was some kind of service like that show, that isn't motivated by stirring up controversy and heartbreak for ratings; that doesn't bare peoples' characters on national television for the whole country to rip in to. A service that has only one dedicated motive: to set well-matched lonely singles up with one another to become a couple.

It just boggles my mind that we don't naturally have this in our society; that we're only now beginning to acknowledge that loneliness is a terrible curse, and that something needs to be done about it.

*Edit: Read 'seductive message of false hope to all Australians who have always been too eccentric to connect with any of the real singles they've ever met.'

[TheRenegade345]

@chibam @tyme @MJG017 @Wesco5454 

There never will be a meaningful service for single people like the one you described for one simple reason.

There’s no money involved in it in the way that shows like that would make.

Our post capitalist society has seriously lost the plot and it doesn’t allow for actual meaningful connections anymore. 

I genuinely believe that shows like that have actually damaged the way we perceive relationships now. I do feel like we have gone past the point of no return 

[chibam]

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@TheRenegade345 wrote:

There’s no money involved in it in the way that shows like that would make.

Our post capitalist society has seriously lost the plot and it doesn’t allow for actual meaningful connections anymore.

Maybe I'm a fool, but the one thing that gives me a bit of hope in that regard is that the government's starting to talk about the impact loneliness has to their precious economy; and they've got 'experts' coming up before them telling them that we're talking about serious figures in that regard.

We've seen this same dance play out in regards to mental health - and look at all the resources and money that's been thrown at that industry in the past few years! (Though I would argue to little or no benefit to the public).

Then there's the hardcore capitalists who are banging their drums about population decline; about how we need to urgently start breeding a future workforce right now, in order to sustain our economies. Most of these people are adamant nuclear family supporters; which means that the only solution they find palatable to this crisis is to bring potential mommies and daddies together so that they can form an enduring marriage and produce babies within it.

So right there, we have another economically-driven facet of society that's motivated to bring singles together to become enduring couples.

I'm probably being overly optimistic. But at least the economic lords in their ivory tower are talking about this problem. I guess that's better then nothing.

[TheRenegade345]

@chibam 

The fact that its all about boosting shareholder profits and boosting the economy, as opposed to the more humanitarian approach in that we want to improve self esteem and confidence in our society, is so typical of them.

I guess they are talking about it but will they even follow through with it? It might cost them too much money to help with loneliness, the poor darlings. Sorry if I sound jaded but its just so typical of where we are at as a society.

Today was a bit rough, I was at the cricket today but couldn't enjoy it because there was a couple there that were being a bit too "showy" and it made me very uncomfortable. I had no idea what to do and I ended up leaving early. 

[chibam]

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@TheRenegade345 wrote:

I guess they are talking about it but will they even follow through with it?

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Good question.

I was watching one of the public hearings from the NSW government's inquiry into loneliness, and one of the MPs was just asking witnesses straight out if this issue was too big or too hard for the government to be dealing with. Thankfully, the witnesses were quick to refute these suggestions. But I found it disconcerting that the MPs were talking like this in a public hearing at all. Almost like their sending out preliminary signals that their getting ready to dump this issue in the "too hard" basket.

Adding to this, most of the witnesses - many being professors, ect. - seemed more interested in talking about ways to research the issue, rather then ways to take action. And even the MPs themselves seemed more interested in talking about statistics rather then real problems, or real solutions.

IMHO, this is why we really need to see these sorts of hearings dominated by everyday "lived experiance" people, rather then academics and "experts". But I digress...

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@TheRenegade345 wrote:

It might cost them too much money to help with loneliness, the poor darlings.

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One of the things that really put a smile on my face was when one of the organizations giving testimony to the government told them that they'd be prepared to run a public awareness ad campaign about loneliness, completely on their own dime (i.e. they weren't asking the government for any money to do it)! But I got the sense that the government weren't very interested in taking them up on the offer.🙁

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@TheRenegade345 wrote:

Sorry if I sound jaded but its just so typical of where we are at as a society.

Preaching to the choir, man. Preaching to the choir.

[TheRenegade345]

@chibam 

Adding to this, most of the witnesses - many being professors, ect. - seemed more interested in talking about ways to research the issue, rather then ways to take action. And even the MPs themselves seemed more interested in talking about statistics rather then real problems, or real solutions.

THAT is a real issue IMHO. I feel like mental health professionals have said this to me over the years that there is a lot going on behind the scenes and there is a lot we dont know about. However, nothing has come up in the public space in all the years I have been accessing it and I dont know how people dont see that.

If I am being honest. I think there are some mental health professionals who dont really care that much about actual progress. They only care about their own reputation in the group of people they work with.

But the fact that they are already talking about dumping the issue is just typical. We need to do things ourselves. I really want to be a mens health advocate because no one else is going to do it, I should just do it myself.