Am Not Coping

[Snowie]

Happy to sit on Neptune with you if you do get that far. It does suck about your work hun. Especailly when you did everything you could to get a good outcome. 

I am just on the couch atm @Zoe7. I did manage a shower so take that as a small win. I think the couch will have to be enough for now. I have no motivation to do anything today.

[Zoe7]

I fear that getting back to work is going to become a major 'drama' in my life and that I won't be able to cope with it - and if I can't cope with that how am I going to cope with actually working @Snowie. It is a double edged sword - without work I get more down and the more that happens the less I will be seen as capable to work - I am more than frustrated that our plan could not be put in pace nd I feel very unsupported in all this.

I am going to have to go and try to get myself to the pool - I know if I don't then I will fall further and further and hit that dark place where I am not safe - that is how I am feeling today - it is not a good day - know that you are in the same place and feeling so much for you too Hon. I will check in with you when I get back from the pool - even if it is only a short session today the important thing is I get there - so chat later sweet @Snowie 

[Snowie]

Well done on going to the pool @Zoe7, talk later sweetie 

[Zoe7]

Thanks @Snowie look forward to catching up with you more later 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Good on you @Zoe7 ..... setting self-care mini goals .....

Stay as strong as you can Hon ..... hoping this is a one-door-closes-a-better-one-opens situation, but it can’t be seen in the moment, and that moment is so hard to sit through while we are waiting for it to be / bring something else ....

💐💚🦋💕🌷

[Zoe7]

@Faith-and-Hope @Snowie @MDT I made it to the pool but could only do one lot of my exercises - my heart just wasn't in it so I floated around like a statue for about 20 minutes. I was trying really hard to just be in the moment and found myself swaying in and out as thoughts took over. I eventually gave up and got out as I wasn't enjoying it like I usually do. There was one nice moment where the physio said they missed me on Tuesday and she then remembered I said I had something on - but to be thought about was lovely - a little heartlift in the midst of the darkness today.

This afternoon I am doing nothing but surviving - that is all I can do!

[MDT]

Small moments like that do make a difference @Zoe7
Never underestimate them

[Zoe7]

It actually made me smile which I did not think I would do today @MDT 

How is your afternoon going?

[Snowie]

Well done on making it to the pool @Zoe7.

Sometimes surviving is all we can do. Am sitting with you hun.

[Zoe7]

Sitting with you too @Snowie Have that seat on Neptune for you - that is where I feel I am this afternoon and that scares me. I haven't been in this place for a while now and I don't like that I am here again. I hope this passes soon