TW: Summer and scars

[The-red-centaur]

I hope this is an ok topic to talk about. 

TW: Self-Harm

For some people with mh self harm becomes a coping mechanism. I am one of those people. I have extensive scarring. I can't hide it... but should I have to? 

For me, self harm feels so taboo. It is expected that you cover up and never talk about it. Mentioning self harm, even here sometimes, is controlled and moderated. Society says we can't trigger other people and mustn't give other people ideas. I get that. But have we become so scared by it that it has alienate those recovering. 

I don't want to hide, especially as summer comes. I'm not ashamed of my past and my scars anymore. But I feel people stare and i feel like peope are scared of me. I feel like I can't just walk out the without being ashamed of my body and my past. I wear my mh issues on my skin, I feel less human and stigmatised because of it. 

I have been to a group run by community mental health service where they said I was only allowed to go if I covered up all my scars. Why? 

I understand the need not to trigger others. But has Society become too scared that we demonise and dehumanise those who struggle or struggled with self harm. 

I want to walk around and be proud of how far I have come. I don't wear my scars as a covering of shame, but as a testimony of strength and recovery. 

It feels so stigmatised to say this, but I am proud of my scars. Not because of how much I hurt myself. But because of how much I have overcome. 

[tyme]

That's so powerful @The-red-centaur 

Thank you for sharing. I can really relate.

To me now, the scars are battle wounds and proves how far I have come.

I cherish your most. It means so much to me.

Thank you.

[MJG017]

Hi @The-red-centaur.  I don't have any experience with this personally, but i do think it is such a show of strength that you are proud of your scars and see them as a reminder of how far you have come.  That is so powerful and I would think be so helpful to others struggling with this still.  But like I said, I have no personal experience so I can't really speak to how anyone struggling themselves would think.

It is tricky to find that balance between sensitivity to others and not alienating people in recovery.  It's sad that the group you mentioned seems to be struggling to find that balance.  I agree that hiding things like this only leads to more stigma surrounding it, making it harder for people to reach out for support, rather than feeling that shame.  Recovers like yours should be seen and should be celebrated, rather than hidden from view.  It helps no one that way.

So while I think it's unfair that there's so many areas of society that make you feel like you have to hide a part of yourself, specially with how hard you've worked to grow beyond your own past.  You should be help up as an example of that strength and resilience that will allow others to find a similar path for themselves... not hidden away and adding to the shame and stigmatization.

So I say continue to speak out.  You don't have to go into all the details to show people what is possible by sharing your own experience and how far you've come.

[Snowie]

Well done @The-red-centaur for putting it out there.

I too have scars that can be seen at times in summer.

I do understand not wanting to trigger others, but I also understand that you should not be ashamed by them. That they do show just how far you have come.

Be proud of who you are, be proud of the challenges you have been able to overcome.

Without them you wouldn't be who you are today. 

[Snowie]

@tyme @The-red-centaur @MJG017 

[tyme]

Thanks for sharing @Snowie !

My battle wounds tell a story. Actually, many stories. @The-red-centaur