Coping with negative/suicidal thoughts.

[Appleblossom]

Good Job @Crazy_Bug_Lady

Just keep negotiating for what you need ... it sometimes takes a while to fine tune it ... so that it is viable long term ... but if boss is on side ... thats great ... all you can do is do your best ...

Cheers

[Former-Member]

Agreeing with everyone cbl, you've gone something amazing for you and been so brave to do it. There has to be a balance in life 🙂 well done!

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member - good luck tomorrow!

I email my psychologist the 'crappy' stuff that I can't say out loud because of some of the same fears that it will show how bad I am or how broken I really am. But it generally ends up that I understand something differently. Or with new perspective... Sometimes lol
So I think it's great that you have written stuff down.

Also glad to hear you're feeling better,
Lj

[Crazy_Bug_Lady]

Hope it went okay today @Former-Member
Thanks LJ, my boss and I are hopeful that this helps. I'm hoping that next year I can work Monday to Friday, and not work weekends. If I can manage that I will be happy. Otherwise I'll try taking every second Friday, and see if that helps.

[Crazy_Bug_Lady]

I saw this posted on Facebook today, I feel like this is quite relevant to the discussion.

[MoonGal]

Oh @Crazy_Bug_Lady that is spot on for this conversation. 🙂

[Former-Member]

Yes very spot on!! Love that one!
I have got a teaching position for next year... I'm excited about something to look forward to but terrified I'm not going to be able to handle it but having less stress financially will b nice. Now I just need to get approval from the psychiatrist - but my psychologist thinks it will b good...

[Former-Member]

I just need to have a whinge.....

So I've been feeling pretty badly, as I've bitched and moaned about for weeks now and I'm actually feeling a bit better, but last time I went to see my doctor.

I had something really bad happen to me, that may massively impact my future and I got really upset so I took a day off work. I sent my doc an email and asked for a medical certificate to give my boss because otherwise my boss assumes you are lazy or hungover. My doctor never replies. No huge deal, I forget emails all the time.

A week later I have an appointment and she's running 40 minutes late. Again I can understand, but still annoying. But in the appointment she can't remember anything that happened last time and what medications she started me on. Consdiering I told her how badly I was feeling and she told me last time that I could go into hospital any time I needed and to just give her a call, it's a little frustrating she has no recollection of this. The appointment ends and she says to come back in 2 weeks. But the receptionist says the next appointment isn't for another 5 weeks. I don't know what to do, so I take the next available appointment.

On Friday, her office calls to reschedule my appointment as she won't be able to work the day of my appointment and the next after is another week and a half away. So now I'm waiitng 6 1/2 weeks for my appointment.

I'm just so frustrated. I just need a bit of support right now, yet if I say anything I feel that I'll be branded as a demanding hysterical narcissistic crazy person.

And I've not told anyone how badly I've been feeling and I don't feel I can. I just don't know what to do. 

[JackJane]

I know it's really tough and I'm so sorry you're going through a bad time.

There are a few things I have to help me keep track of things:  1. Notebook for daily medication/appointments; and 2. Wall Calendar.

When you email your Doctor, can you print the email and take it with you?

Can you book regular appointments in advance?  So ring up Monday and book a few appointments over 3 or 4 months - some fortnightly, the odd monthly or whatever works for you.  Then you lessen the likelihood of having to wait 5 or 6 weeks.  If you don't need some of the appointments then you can always cancel with a few days' notice.

We are our best advocates and as much as possible we need to make our doctors aware of things, even if this means reminding them.  Remember that they have information on their computers - last time they saw us, medications we've been on and so on.  It's really up to them to take the time during the appointment to bring themselves up to date.

Also, if your Doctor says to make a time in a fortnight, then it's really up to reception to find you a time in a fortnight.  Not in 5 weeks.

I would ring the Doctor's rooms back and request a time earlier.  If you find that discussing things verbally is difficult for you, then take in a list and hand it to your Doctor.  Most good Doctors can read between the lines and recognise your mood - if you're feeling more depressed than usual, agitated or anxious.  But not always and not for everything - taking a list is helpful for them and us.

What you typed for this forum, can you just change a few words and give it to your Doctor - so maybe it doens't like a forum post.  Do a message to give to him/her and maybe then they'll understand.  Our Doctors are not mind readers.  I know it's hard to be assertive when you're feeling really bad, but finding a way to express yourself can make a huge difference in your treatment.  If you have a therapist as well, then they can help you with this - they can also probably talk to your Doctor.  Or can you take someone you trust with you to an appointment, even if only as a support person.

I hope you're feeling better and that you can see your Doctor soon, maybe an earlier time.  Please take care.

JJ.

[Former-Member]

Oh no - that would not feel great at all. It's hard to trust what comes out of people's mouths when their words aren't backed up by their actions and you get such mixed messages. However I'm sure she means what she says and is just so run off her feet she's just not ensuring she follows up on those words. I wonder if it's worth writing her another email and explaining what's happened with appointments and see if she will fit you in earlier - often they are completely oblivious about appointment scheduling problems. I had so many problems with the reception staff at one gp place with my favourite gp and she eventually just did my appts herself when I saw her and gave me her own number if I had an emergency - I never used it but I felt really cared for and supported. My current gp is a bit like yours kind of forgetful but still caring and I know he means well but not the same level of support that i can trust or count on if that makes sense.
Have you got any more support from other people that you can lean on in the meantime? Remember lifeline is there to use if you just need to get something off your chest.
Hugs
Lj