Lived Experience Forum

[Pokemon222]

I'm not sure if this breaches the rules or not sorry. Hopefully not... 

I'm wondering if anyone has experience of having Munchausen syndrome/factitious disorder. I'm having an issue with it worse over the last 12 months and I feel like I've got myself backed into a corner at the moment. 

I've been considering disclosing it to my psychiatrist but just scared. It took me a long time to find someone I'm comfortable with and I worry because once I say something I can't take it back and I just don't know if I should or not...

[justanotherguy]

Hi @Pokemon222

I had to look up this condition. I'm not sure how it presents in you but if a psychiatrist diagnoses you with something it is pretty well impossible to get un-diagnosed. If you present with metal illness symptoms that's all most psychiatrists are trained to look at.

[SILLYOLD]

Hi there!  My mother had both Munchausen's as well as Munchausen's-by-proxy.  I'm somewhat intrigued as to why you feel you might have this disorder.  Virtually no-one who has factitious disorders would ever admit there is anything wrong with them, and they don't usually seek out treatment for such a disorder in the first place.  Can you state as to why you think you might have this disorder?

[justanotherguy]

Hi again @Pokemon222

I'm intrigued, as @SILLYOLD asked, have you been diagnosed with this condition, or is it a self diagnosis? It would be difficult to assess as if you are presenting with mental problems a psychiatrist would first have to assess whether they are real or not, and in my experience most are not that good. Most psychiatrists are "see nail, hit nail". Munchausen syndrome seems like a mental health version of hypochondria, but it would be much worse as if you are diagnosed with a serious enough illness you could be hospitalised or forced on heavy medication and then you would be a bit stuffed. You could spend years getting treatment for something you don't have, and I don't know why anyone would do that. If you are already seeing a psychiatrist, is it for something real or is it part of Munchausen syndrome?

[Pokemon222]

Hi

@justanotherguy and @SILLYOLD thanks for your replies.  . I have been seeing my psych for a number of years after being hospitalised several years ago. For depression and borderline personality disorder. She has been supportive and helpful and we have discussed some difficult topics like my self harming and suicidal thoughts. 

But yes the factitious disorder is a self diagnosis. It's something I have done off and on for years but never anything major before this.  The specific example I'm considering disclosing started last year. (I'm not sure how to explain without details that might breach the rules.  So sorry if it's vague) It was triggered when I had an abnormal blood test.  The abnormal result actually was likely due to exercise. But I was asked to repeat the test.  Before the next test I exercised excessively deliberately to raise the result. What followed was a series of blood tests,  referral to a specialist, biopsy which I influenced the result of and treatment 

I now regret having done this and would like to stop but I don't know how to just stop seeing the specialist or ceasing the treatment.

I would like to discuss this with my psychiatrist but I am worried what reaction I'll get

[Pokemon222]

Thanks for sharing. Sorry to hear about your mum's difficulties with this.  I have no kids/dependents and this is only something I've done to myself

[NatureLover]

Welcome, @Pokemon222  🙂

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@Pokemon222 wrote:

I now regret having done this and would like to stop but I don't know how to just stop seeing the specialist or ceasing the treatment.

I would like to discuss this with my psychiatrist but I am worried what reaction I'll get

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I would trust your psychiatrist with this, if it was me. You say you want to get off this treadmill, and your psychiatrist may have some strategies to help. 

Another throught is maybe if you didn't exercise before the tests, the results would come back to normal? Of course, it sounds much more complex than that, so please ignore if that wouldn't work.

Good luck, whatever you decide to do.

An important forum tip is if you type @ and then click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply.
 

[AuntJobiska]

Firstly, kudos on your courage in asking for help. I have a family member with (self diagnosed) factitious disorder who went through multiple surgeries (disclosed what he was doing to me but not the doctors). From what you've said, what you've done is mild, and I'd encourage you to give yourself a break. It is possible to stop, my family member did, and while he relapsed a couple of times, twenty years later he hasn't done anything factitious for years and years. That was without any professional help.

I'm on the fence about telling someone... If you think you need help to stop, then it might be helpful, but it truly is a very stigmatized diagnosis and I can understand why my relative didn't tell anyone. The problem is that once you tell any health professional, they will tell all the other health professionals involved in your care... Like once you tell your psychiatrist they will tell your GP and vice versa etc. The official line would always be to tell your psychiatrist, but I'm giving you my personal opinion as a medical student who knows someone with the disorder, not the official line. I think my relative might have gone to confession (he's Catholic) and got some help in dealing with it that way. Can you possibly talk to a psychologist? There's a possibility they might give you more confidentiality. I'm not sure if you're happy with everyone involved in your care knowing this... If you are, then I'd encourage you to tell, and if you're continuing the behaviour, I'd also encourage you to tell. But if you're just tortured by guilt, then I can tell you it is possible to get past it cos my relative did. He struggled very much with guilt but is in a very good place now personally and professionally and nobody would dream of his past. 

Again, congratulations on asking for help. You're in a very difficult position, with what I think of as nearly the most stigmatized diagnosis ever (factitious disorder by proxy is the only worse one) and you've been extraordinarily courageous. Sorry I couldn't be more help.

[Pokemon222]

Still wonder if there's anyone out there that has experience of this issue?