I don't know if I can do it anymore

[Eden1919]

i dont know if i cant keep doing this anymore i am struggling so much i cant get any uni work done and even if i do it is shit and i am still going to fail despite my best efforts because my best is never enough and on top of that i cant even take care of myself or my basic everyday needs i cant even get myself to drink enough water each day let alone manage my hygiene stuff i keep wanting to cry all the time and i keep having breakdowns over the smallest things literally dropping something on the floor is enough to set me off. then it is like should i quit uni but then i have wasted years of my life and incurred a huge debt all for nothing. i am exhausted 24/7 i keep doing stupid things because i feel so bad all the time there is nothing anyone can do to help me with all of this and i cant fix it myself even though i am trying really hard too and i just i cant take it anymore sometimes i feel like my only option is just to give up and die but then what if i fail and end up in the hospital again ugh anyway idk what to do anymore i am completely lost. 

[storyofmylife]

You are overthinking. It is best to just follow your normal routine and do everything accordingly.

[justanotherguy]

Hi @Eden1919 , I've seen you on the forums a few times, sorry that you're frustrated right now. I did a Uni degree 10 years ago, looking back it's one of the most useless degrees I could have done, but I developed a great ability to schedule my time better, and focus my thoughts on what was most important (before that my mind was like a plate of spaghetti!). I was on mental health medication the whole time, and people say I got through the degree only because of the meds, but now I'm off meds I could do 3 degrees standing on my head. The meds I was on actually made it harder to focus, but of course nobody wants to hear me say that. A degree is kind of like pizza - even a bad pizza is still better than no pizza.

I never got a job with my degree and probably never will. I did a business degree and learned more about running a business from my weekend pizza shop job than the 3 years of the degree. Go figure. Most degrees are much more useful than that, but many people I know have degrees but end up working in something else. Uni is not just about getting a job, for most it's about learning how to learn.

[justanotherguy]

Hi @storyofmylife , there's no such thing as 'overthinking', it's just somebody trying to understand what's going on in their world.

[Ilovepenguins]

Hi @Eden1919 

You sound so overwhelmed by everything that is going on around you, I am so sorry you're feeling this way and I'm so glad you've reached out to us on the forums in your moment of need ❤️

Have you thought about talking to your teachers or counsellors at uni about how you're feeling at the moment? It might be an option to defer your studies for a little while to be able to catch back up on your own emotions and self-care? 

Teachers don't want their students to fail, no matter how mean they can be haha 

Take one day at a time, one task at a time and be kind to yourself if you just can't do it that day! 🤗 

I'm here for you if you'd like to keep chatting 💗 I'm not in uni, but I am doing various short courses and I struggle with what you've described too, life can be completely overwhelming, my bed can be the most appealing place in the world, dark thoughts swirl around and sometimes my routine hygiene can take a backseat too but I also know if I take a break to rest, that unbearable moment in time will pass 🌻

[Former-Member]

Hello @Eden1919 sorry to hear you are struggling.  I know youre not coping and the uni course is weighing heavily on you. Have you thought of maybe pausing the course then focussing on some self healing until you are ready to go back to it?

I used to be really sick and even e-mails would set off an episode at one stage so I do empathise. I could not function until I did heavy metal chelation when it was first available commercially up to 20 years ago. Heavy metal chelation stopped my symptoms. I used a chelator called zeolite but unfortunately it was very dehydrating.

I later got it confirmed that my schizoaffective disorder was due to heavy metals in the brain from a medical medium by the name of Anthony William who writes for Hay House and is a NY Times best seller. So it confirmed my experience even though I had not heard of Medical Medium Anthony Williams work all those years ago with heavy metal chelation.

He is so accurate that doctors consult with him for their difficult to treat clients. In his compendium books Brain Saver and the Cleanse book that you can buy as a set it outlines how you can heal. He has a heavy metal detox smoothie recipe (chelator) which is not dehydrating. I am still doing great and flourishing with no symptoms when I am chelating heavy metals out.

My life proves that no matter how severe your mental health symptoms you can heal. I have also seen other peoples online testimony of recovering from mental illnesses such as schizophrenia and bipolar with Anthony Williams methods. I would not DIY unless you adhere to the strategies in his Brain Saver book. You need to have your detox pathways open otherwise chelation can have a negative cascading effect.  But with this precautionary principle you can look forward to a rosy future. My life was totally hopeless.

You can find his books cheaply online now. I think even through kindle on the cloud which you can use on any computer to read his books online for a few dollars!

Good luck, life can and does get better, trust me! ❤️

[Ilovepenguins]

@storyofmylife unfortunately for some, like me, following a regular routine becomes completely impossible when your cup is empty and you're overwhelmed and exhausted! 

Neurowild on FB actually has a really good explanation using the spoon theory! 

[Appleblossom]

Hugs @Eden1919 

Not sure what is the best "course" in living for you.  I bought into the study thing and have heaps of pieces of paper, but oddly enough the top degree never amounted to more than earning $30 per week ... I kid you not!  I use it as a joke against snooty unis.  I have 2 people, "normies" complain to me about unis at the  moment.  One was failed but high flying and made them pay her HECs debt back, the other was complaining about general .. over credentialism ... as if everything will be solved by signing up to a course or a unit in something.  It is not.  It is an industry.  

I personally pulled out of a masters last year, cos... it was not worth it.  

I may go back and study to fill up time, but it has to be worth it.

Not sure of all you have on your plate atm and how your "therapy" is doing.  I am a believer that meds are only an aid, they are not the cure.  Learning to deal with our demons is no easy feat, but possible.  

Gently Bently with YOU.

Apple

[justanotherguy]

Hi again @Eden1919 .

@storyofmylife @Former-Member @Ilovepenguins @Appleblossom 

Not everyone needs a degree to have a great life. Sometimes I wish I didn't go to Uni but my circumstances at the time made it the only sensible choice. Uni can put a lot of unhelpful ideas into one's head that can take years to unwind. I succeeded in my degree mainly because I was a mature age student - if I was younger the experience would have been wasted on me. Quite frankly I saw a lot of younger people at Uni setting their lives up for misery and failure. At the very least I would urge all potential young students to do a gap year, or at least some kind of paid or volunteer work before or during a degree. An ounce of sanity can help a lot in life.

[Ilovepenguins]

@justanotherguy I love this advice, degrees aren't always useful ❤️ 

@Appleblossom @Former-Member @storyofmylife 

I know for me, I would never have succeeded in uni when I was younger, even now in my mid 30's the thought of uni is daunting! I never even finished year 10 so would never have made it to uni in the first place haha I tried doing year 10 by correspondence when I was 17 but failed at that, instead I completed a short 6 week cert 3 course in community care, that helped me understand compassion and empathy, something I never learnt in school! It also helped me understand and care for my grandmother later on in life ❤️

Education is important but not at the expense of your wellbeing! 

For nearly 20 years I didn't study again. For me, I've worked out that doing short course qualifications that I can use as RPL and credits for the longer courses, I'm much more motivated to enroll in those longer more intense courses 😁

@Eden1919 I hope that whatever you decide to do with your uni course, you remember that you made it to uni and you've still learnt something regardless of whether you finish it or not 😁 that's a huge achievement in itself!

You're definitely not failing! You're aware that something isn't working for you and this is just another opportunity for you to grow towards something that does work for you 💚