Lived Experience Forum

[NikNik]

Great tips @BlueBay !

[Shaz51]

thank you @Former-Member, @NikNik 

Is there a way to push through ?? or what advice would you give ??

[Former-Member]

Hello @NikNik

I would prefer not to celebrate Xmas but my family does, so I go along and try to get some Xmas spirit going. We have lots of lights outside and a nice tree and I did some baking when it was cooler. All the food is bought and ready to go. I bought a few ready made things to make cooking dinner easier. I only got presents for a selected few and didn’t write any cards. The only Xmas party I attended was a disaster and I’d rather be in hospital than at home. Thankfully we cancelled all social commitments so it should be nice and easy to get through.
But yes personally I would not celebrate Xmas. It’s such a big commercial and social BS.

[greenspace]

Thanks @CheerBear, @Former-Member, and @NikNik
I'm more hopeful about Xmas Day than I've been for decades - glad that my friend and I can give each other moral support and permission to feel whatever we're feeling, and hopeful that my aunt won't be too upset and that I'll be able to see her another day, without the demand to seem happy when I'm grieving and angry.

[Phoenix_Rising]

You know what I'm noticing here @NikNik? Those that have family wish they could spend Christmas alone, and those of us without family struggle with the fact that we will spend Christmas alone. I super wish we could trade places for a day. 

[Shaz51]

hello @NikNik

after today my Mr shaz does not want to even goclose to my family on christmas day , only to his family

[Queenie]

Hello folks, Christmas for me can be dizzying highs and mania followed often by a trigger which has resulted in a massive massive low. I've been hypomania for about 2 weeks and now I've hit the low. The trigger? My Father's non-involvement in my life and reminder at this time of the year how much he must truly detest me. 

I was raised with strong values revolving around family, but when my mother died when I was 11 years old, my values were met with major upheaval and crisis. My Father went on to marry my Mum's sister (who then neglected and emotionally abused me), causing Christmas and my strong family values to be a source of great sorrow.

Last night I crashed because of my Father's rejection of me, and while I have to learn to accept that it is what it is and it will never change, for me at least, it makes Christmas a bitter pill to swallow. I don't feel like celebrating now, after manically spending and then the crash. 

I wish I knew how to remain on an even keel during the Silly Season.

[Former-Member]

@Shaz51It is super difficult losing loved ones near xmas time. I lost a dear friend of mine two years ago just before xmas (on the 23rd). She was more family to me than some of my actual family. It is difficult but I choose to honour her life.

Can you do something personal for her/him. I brought a special plant and planted it xmas day in my garden for my friend. I also have a photo of her and brought a special candle and every xmas day I light it in her memory and have a talk to her. I also do the same for my father. I light a candle for him next to his photo on special days like xmas, his birthday, etc

[NikNik]

My tip would be @Shaz51 not to put too much pressure on yourself to 'do' christmas. One minute you may feel like being around lots of people, the next you might feel overwhelmed and want to escape - that's totally okay.
The way grief hits us to really unpredictable - but we just have to ride it out. I hope you and your husband are being wonderful supports for each other...

[NikNik]

@Former-Member - I'm sorry to hear the xmas party didn't go well!
It's great to read that you have some activities you do enjoy too though - baking and lights / tree.