Depression anxiety

[MJG017]

@Lula 

That is such terrible heartbreaking news about that young man in your community.  And with his own yiung family as well 😥  It just shows what a huge problem mental health in our society today.  This should never happen, but sadly it does, and in far far too high a number.

It onky natural that news like that would shake you up, it would anyone.  But while dealing with you own struggles, it would be so much harder.  Obviously the weather and your visit from this "angel of death" aren't helping your mood right now.  Its clearly a lot to deal with but im glad you feel like you can at least come here and talked about it with people you feel understand.  I think we do, or we really try to, so im glad you find it helpful so please never hesitate to reach out if you feel you need to, or even if you would just like a chat.... even if its not sitting down together in the same room.  Take care Lula.

[Lula]

@MJG 

Hello M

It’s been a while, so how are you I wonder ?

I am only sort of ok.  It’s been hot here which doesn’t help.  I’ve got AC but I don’t like using it - I prefer fresh air coming through doors and windows. But it’s been essential today, although I’m having trouble regulating it - it’s been too cold. (This system doesn’t have a couple of the iPad emojis I use, or I would have added the one of a woman with hands in the air as if to say I don’t know, I don’t understand). It’s still 25 deg at 8.30pm (no emoji for feeling hot)

I went to the funeral of the young man I told you about - it was SO very, very sad. I felt numb and a bit sick, but couldn’t cry.  I know now some of the circumstances, and it’s even harder to comprehend.  I’ve felt really down today and so maybe it’s all coming thru.

Christmas is looming too which is difficult for me. I grew up in a family that didn’t acknowledge the religious aspect at all, and basically didn’t know how to “do” Christmas any way - I can’t remember ever having a happy one.  I find the commercial aspect of it all really quite disturbing too. Plus the usual Christmas themed programs on tv, along with what has become the usual lot of ‘negative themed, not happy and uninspiring for various reasons’ type programs.

I know I’m far from alone in my feelings about Christmas - but it doesn’t really help, especially knowing so many people prefer to ignore that and the people doing it tough.

I’ve got a coffee group meet-up this week, a definite 1-on-1 and a potential 1-on-1 coffee meet-up that I hope will get me thru this week at least.

For a while now I've been having a clean up around my place trying to declutter and get rid of things I don’t need.

But on hot days time is hanging heavily - I don’t know how I’m going to get thru summer. Got any ideas M ?

bye for now M and sending you a pre-Christmas hug 🤗

[Lula]

@MJG017

It’s been ages since we last connected M.  You have checked up on me before, but not this these last weeks, so I hope you’re ok.  I typed a post to you a while back and was looking forward to your reply, but … 

When I checked here on the Forum it was obvious that somehow I made a mistake and the post wasn’t sent.  Aaargh !

The funeral I told you about was really gut-wrenchingly sad.

Since then my big problem has been that Christmas was/is looming. I think this year I’m finding it harder to cope than before.  Time hangs very heavily and everywhere it’s Christmas !  Christmas ! Christmas !  In the shops including the essential supermarket, and on TV and there’s so few programs worth seeing anyway.

Do you have a streaming service ? Got any recommendations ? I do have Netflix, but it’s seems more failures than successes finding something good - I end up looking at 3 or 4 programs and none of them ‘do it for me.’ I do go out to a weekly coffee group of ladies most weeks, and maybe I’ll get there Tuesday next week too. So much depends on how I feel, how well or badly I’ve slept the night before etc.  Three of them in similar positions to me are joining me at my place on Christmas Day, so I hope we all cope well.

We’ve had some very hot weather as well, and then the last few days a huge cooler change, so this poor body of mine feels a bit knocked around by that, the going from one extreme to the other.

It’s past 8pm now so I must go have some dinner.

M I want you to know how much I have appreciate your support - it’s been several months now and I really am very grateful.  So a very big THANK YOU to you.  I know this time isn’t easy for you either M, but I really do hope you and your partner are able to have special times with each other, your family and friends

Bye for now M, take care and be happy. A big virtual hug to you 🤗 🙏

[MJG017]

Hi @Lula, great to hear from you again.  I have been meaning to check in to see how you were doing, but i've been dealing with some personal stuff this past month and it's been very difficult so I haven't been around that much.

It think I would like Christmas a lot more if it there wasn't so much made of it.  As you say, everywhere you look there it is!  It feels a bit insensitive to people who struggle through this time, especially lonely people who don't have family and friends to share it with.  It's one day where people get together, maybe swap some gifts and have a nice lunch.  Do we really need all that attention put on it for what feels like months?!

I have Netflix as well.  All the other stuff I watch is downloaded.  As for recommendations, I'm not sure out taste in shows would be very similar, but I really have no idea.  What sort of things have you watched that you liked?  Maybe that will give me some ideas for recommendations.

Sorry that funeral was so tough, but I guess that is the nature of them.  It's something we kind of have to get used to as we get older... more funerals.  I just really don't like to think about them at all, but you sadly can't really escape them can you?

That's great that these friends are joining you for on Christmas day.  What an incredibly nice thing you are doing to host it.  I'm sure it will go well so try not to put any pressure on yourself, just think of it as dome friends getting together for a nice day.  It will be so much better than spending the day alone, which just feels so much harder on Christmas day.  So I hope it all goes well for all of you.

As for me, my partner's family are coming over for lunch so it will be quite busy.  I think it's 12 people in total.  I've used my 3D printer to print some little fun puzzles for people so I've done my bit.  Everyone is doing some nit of the food so it doesn't fall on just one or two people to do so that makes it easier as well.

I have a couple of old friends coming over tomorrow (Sunday) for a catchup.  We've known each other since primary school!  So 46 years!!  I shouldn't have done that math!  We don't see each other much anymore, but they like to have these catchups now with everything I'm dealing with, just to see how i'm going.  Speaking of which it's half an hour into Sunday right now so I had better finish up soon and get some sleep.

I think it is supposed to be 36 here on Christmas and then 40 the following day.... but the chance of some rain as well!  The weather is just crazy these days!  It's been very up and down here as well and even periods of very high humidity and it does take a toll on me as well.  Just moving around can feel tiring.

Thank you for those kind words as well.  It's been my pleasure getting to know you over the past few months and knowing that you've found it helpful as well is very touching to hear and our chats here mean a lot to me as well.  And have gotten me through some difficult times myself so thank you and big virtual hugs to you as well.

Take care Lula and chat to you again soon.

M

[MJG017]

Hi @Lula 

How did you Christmas/New Years go?  Both of mine were very quiet.  We did get a new kitten a few days ago, so that has kept me busy, and distracted from everything.

I hope Christmas day with your friends was a nice day for you all.

[Lula]

@MJG017 
Hello M

Just quickly, because it’s 2220 on Thursday 9th and I’ve just remembered I haven’t replied to your message from Monday - aargh !  Where HAS the time gone  !  I haven’t got any good excuses - I’m doing an eye roll because the eye roll emoji isn’t included in the options here - eye roll !!!

It must have been last week I wrote you a message, left the screen for a little while, and when I went back to it … it was gone. Very frustrating, even though it was supposedly saved - another eye roll !!!
Basically I’m ok - as ok (?) as I can be, all things considered. I’m struggling with some things as usual, including the heat.

It’s late-ish for me and I really need to sleep, so I just wanted to touch base so you knew that and I didn’t leave you wondering.

I’ll try to remind myself to reply properly tomorrow M

Nite 😴

[MJG017]

@Lula  It only seems like a few days ago I was trying to just make it through Christmas, now it's almost halfway through January!

It can be very frustrating.  While I usually try to post here from my PC, occasionally i have to do it from my phone.  The back arrow that takes me back to emails is right next to the back arrow that allows me to access emojis.  So i've lost count of the times i've types my reply, gone to add an emoji at the end and been taken back to my email instead, meaning what i wrote is lost.  At least on the PC browser it auto saves!

Feel free to use this post as a reminder to reply to my last one 😁 

Take care.

M

[Lula]

@MJG017 

Hello M

I blew it !  I’ve been sitting about all day not achieving anything, and it took your message tonight to remind me that I needed to remind myself to reply to you, as I said I would last night - another eye roll and aargh !

Yes it’s scary how fast the time goes - a couple of days after Christmas I went to Coles for a few things and saw that hot cross buns were already on sale - and now THAT seems like old news. (eye roll)

I post to you on an iPad and it tells me that “… content last auto-spaced at …” and I had seen that on the post I lost, but apparently it wasn’t saved after all, so I don’t understand how it was gone.

Has something changed here ? I thought I could scroll back thru previous posts while on a new one, but tonight that doesn’t work.

In the lost post I did tell you a bit about what I like to watch on TV and at the movies. I like lots of mystery, drama (not too much violence), human interest things, programs that give me things to think about. I watched The Split, Barcelona on ABC a couple of night ago and enjoyed it. I loved The Split Series 1-3. I’m not into doom & gloom, futuristic/outer space stuff, animation. Comedies that I connect with are few and far between, I can’t remember anything at least.

Talking of these things - poor Los Angeles. Beyond shocking, SO sad.

I said in my post last night that I’m ok, but it depends which day I’m saying that really.  I do get out an about, and have time with people, but time at home by myself hangs very heavily and I find it really difficult. And having no family or a partner is pulling me to bits. I very badly need that and I don’t see any way I’m ever going to get it.

M it’s late again and I’m tired so must go, get some sleep. Goodnight M

[MJG017]

Hi @Lula

I've been thinking I haven't heard from Lula in a while, I'll go and send a message to see how you were going... only to see that I had completely forgotten to reply to your last post!  My mind is just all over the place these days, so sorry for not replying sooner.

You should be able to scroll through previous posts while reading them, the ones on the current page anyway.  If you're in the middle of replying then you'll only see the one you're replying to.  I always have lots of issues though when i use my phone to post.  A lot of it may be me, but it seems way to easy to lose everything by touching the wrong bit of the screen.

We probably watch very different TV shows, but I agree with watching things that give me something to think about.  This is why I watch a lot of Youtube.  There's so many interesting videos on there that make me think about things i'd never thought about before.  So I watch that more than I watch TV shows these days.

I can understand about that time alone at home feeling heavy.  I'm lucky to have my partner now after so long alone, but i remember very well what it was like being completely alone.  I do still spend most days home alone because she works full time, and I dont really have any friends to spend time with and my family barely contacts me, even to check how i'm going with my health issues.  So I still struggle a lot with feeling invisible and alone.  People who have family and friends around them don't realise just how fortunate they are.

Sorry again for the very late response.  Hopefully I have December out of my system now and can get my mind back onto things.  It was one of the most difficult ones i've ever experienced.  But I feel like i'm finally over it for now.

I hope you're doing okay as well. 

Bye

M

[Lula]

MJG017

M what a surprise to come online after midnight (where I am at least) and and see you online too.  How would you be ? Did you get your head sorted out, a bit at least, I hope.  I don’t know how anyone DOESN'T have their head all over the place, the way so many things are these days.

I'm struggling to cope with myself and coping with what’s going on in the world is a step too far and I’m not doing well at it,  On top of everything else the weather is very testing.  But I am blessed to be where I am - sort of in the middle of the country and on the coast- it’s a lifesaver for me to be able to go to a favourite beach cafe and watch the surf roll in - I saw a lot of that today, getting some flow on from what’s going on in Nth Qld. Very grateful for not being in the middle of that, or the middle of the heat and fires down your way.  I have friends in Melbourne who are definitely not happy to have to be dealing with 38-40 deg sometimes, like you.  Their aircon works well and I hope yours does too.

i wonder if you’re still there ?
If not g’night M