It has been quite some time since I have been on this thread but today I feel broken ...not in a 'can put the pieces back together with super glue' kind of broken but the type that rips your heart out, treads on it and throws it away.

It is the anniversary of my grandmother's death and combining that with all the grief I have had to endure over the past 2 years - and the tragedy in our state yesterday - I feel I have nothing more left. Tomorrow I may just get up and get on with it but I would much rather sleep and stay that way until this all passes - or forever. I won't because I have my fur babies to look after - tomorrow is Toby's birthday and Clover turns one in a couple of weeks - so I will spoil them both just a little more (if that is possible lol). 

They do keep me going - and I am grateful for that right now. If I did not have them I would not have much to go on for. I keep getting to the point of reaching my limit and get hit by another blow. In all honesty - if there was an easy way out where my fur babies were okay and my family would not be hurt then I could quite easily take it ....and no I am not depressed or sliding backwards - I have just had enough today. I will get through though - always do - but I really am struggling today ...so tired, so heartbroken and just plain sad! 😥