Wow @xtine ! Thank you for your post! You have such incredible insight. I understand what you mean by “true friends”. I’m not sure if I have one. That is, one that truely accepts me for who I am.

And I agree with you when you mentioned borderlines seeking to fill the void. Nowadays, I no longer have that void, and I believe much of it is due to having a deeper understanding of my ways of thinking, and how it translates to my behaviour. I also hardly “flip out” now. 

Like you, I also prefer to socialise through academic channels. I do find it hard to find people who think on the same wavelength as me though. I’m not one to like small talk. My mind is always thinking, planning, working things out - I find small talk a waste. And maybe that’s part of my dissatisfaction when socialising. In my whole life, I think I’ve met 3 people who think on the same wavelength as me or even above me. I find their ideas intriguing, but then I also withdraw because of maybe an inferiority complex? I don’t know.

As far as Ive come, I’ve still got so much to learn.

Please @xtine continue sharing your insights. I really appreciate it.

BPDSurvivor