@Hopeandlove 

I know talking to someone doesn't change or fix anything, but it can help in just dealing with it mentally.  You do need to talk to someone who understands though and won't just tell you to 'be positive' and 'live one day at a time' and all the other cliches they throw around.

It may not even help that much mentally, but help to make you feel heard and that you're not completely alone.  I struggled a lot last year talking to people.  One because they didn't know what to say, and two because I wanted to hear things no one was able to tell me.

But now, i've accepted no one is going to tell me something that fixes anything or make anything easier, but i can feel that people care about what i'm dealing with and will just talk to me... whether it's about the health or something completely unrelated.  Having family and friends that have basically shown little interest in me, it means a lot to me that someone will sit and even just listen to me.

But everything is your decision though, and no one knows exactly what you are going through.  So i wouldn't tell you what you should or shouldn't do, just give some options that you may or may not want to consider.  Its an incredibly lonely place to be and I, as someone who has dealt with a lot of loneliness in my life, find it hard to imagine a more isolated or lonely position to be in.  Which is why i find it helpful to have people to talk to, even if like I said, they just listen to me.