Hi @Teej .....

I am here and listening .....

I think the first step to getting past it is to talk about it ..... which you have, you are ....

There is something about bringing it out of your head that seems to help with working things out.

I found it works that way with anger.  It seems to spin when it stays bottled up, and has nowhere to go.

Is this a good time to mention Brene ?   I think you’re in the arena .... and looking for an escape from it ....when maybe the best thing for the moment is to accept that that is where you are, and it’s the start to working your way out of it in baby growth steps.

Have you seen me write that S2 is expected to make a full recovery, and fairly rapidly ..... and we are talking about a p.d. .....

I know there are many different forms of p,d, .... and this one stems from a perfectionist personality, and this personality type is prevalent in wh’s family.  But what makes it a p.d. instead of just a personality type is that it is in a disordered state.  Without trying to simplify it too much, part of the teaching he has received is that the disordered state can be re-ordered.  

That is what you are working towards, but it also involves sitting with it a bit in the process, when the natural reaction is to numb or run.