Hey Jynx, thank you for your support. I use he/him/his.

Today I had an appointment with my psychologist, and separately with a dietician who has assessed me to have anorexia, so it was a very overwhelming/draining day. I then had a phone call with a family member which caused intense hopelessness, rage, and then numbness, all within a couple of hours. These mood swings are becoming more and more frequent, and I don't know what to do when I experience such dramatic changes in emotion. (I haven't been seeing this psychologist long enough for us to make any progress in that area, as we are focussed on other, specific things during sessions. I also can't afford to see her every time I struggle, because I'd need to see her every day.)

I'm interested in hearing about how people have dealt with the issues that I face. I'm also interested in hearing about how people manage when they have almost no support from family or friends, as that is my situation. And in general, it would be nice to feel like someone cares.

I am currently dealing with the following things:

• Alcohol Use Disorder. I have been sober for a little over 2 years, and am very scared of relapsing.
  
  
• Nerve sensitisation, diagnosed after 13 months of constant physical pain. It has been over 16 months now. I had access to a pain management clinic which failed to support me, so now I am waiting to access a new one, and in the meantime have no way to reduce my pain. Walking, sitting up, and almost every basic function causes pain. I have been misdiagnosed and led down incorrect treatment paths several times.
  
  
• Anorexia. I lost a lot of weight late last year. I am pursuing a diagnosis, and have only just finished getting assessed by a dietician today.
  
  
• Depression. I feel like I have zero energy to do anything, care about anything, or even get out of bed. This is a huge issue, as I am the only person coordinating my healthcare or finding support. Depression threatens my ability to help myself and ever get better.
  
  
• Suicidal thoughts. I often feel that the only way to escape everything is to harm myself. I have previously gone to the ED with actual suicidal intent, leading to horrific healthcare experiences that pushed me closer to suicide. (Please note: I will never access the ED again, so this should not be suggested.) I no longer experience suicidal intent, just suicidal ideation, but the ideation is still very distressing.
  
  
• Anxiety. I am often obsessively worried about things going wrong.

I am dealing with all of this on my own, as well as some other things that are too personal to list. I have also experienced a history of humiliating, frightening, and inappropriate behaviour from psychologists, doctors, physiotherapists, and counsellors, so that is also impacting me as I try to coordinate my own healthcare and access help.

When I was younger, I often had only one serious health issue at a time, and I could focus on managing that, without worrying about other things. How do people manage when the diagnoses and symptoms start to stack up and impact each other? What stories are there of people who have conquered a long list of conditions and emerged happier/healthier?

I would like to have some hope, and feel that it is possible for me to manage my health. Because, right now, everything feels impossible.

I have never written in a forum like this, so apologies if this is too long, or too much information. Thank you in advance to anyone who helps me. I hope everyone who reads this is doing okay.