@tyme 

- What have you found helps with grief?

- Are there any experiences of grief you'd like to share?

Well, that's the thing.  Maybe cause I was adopted and I always knew.  I mean I don't remember ever not knowing.  Which makes sense to me, considering my adoptive mother would tell everyone she ever met, whether i was comfortable with it or not!  So i grew up not feeling close to anyone and like there was no where i really belonged.  That there were no people I was a part of.

So i kept everyone at a distance my whole life.  So when members of my family died, it felt more like finding out a neighbour you have the odd friendly chat to has died.  I used to sit in funerals, seeing everyone else upset and think "what is wrong with me?!"  "Why don't i feel anything?"  Obviously this didn't help the feelings that I wasn't worth that much and that keeping to myself was the right move.  That distance just built over time.  Things have improved now and there are some people that i do feel close to and would miss terribly and i feel that i would struggle with that grief a lot.  But they're all still here.

So i've never really felt that much when someone i knew had passed.  I had no idea what it would feel like, apart from just being sad and wishing the person was still alive.  Until last Sunday.  I knew it was coming but reading the news just felt like... i dont know... Like i would do anything to change it, or even for one more message.  Like an overwhelming sadness that sucked the air out of my lungs.  I can't really explain it.

So, are there any experiences of grief you'd like to share?  I guess I can now.

What have you found helps with grief?  Does anything?  Time maybe.