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@tyme wrote:

MJG017 , Your life has meant so much to me and the people here. What do you think constitutes a life 'not wasted'? Is it fame? Is it fortune? Is it kids?

 

I'm open to hearing more MJG017 . I, like many others here, value you for being you. Please know we are here for you as much as you are here for others.

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@tyme  Thank you for the very kind words.  Its definitely not fame or fortune for me.  Kids is definitely part of it.  I guess it's mostly about not wasting my own potential and opportunities in life because the fear to allow myself to trust anyone and let people close was always far too strong. 

I know a lot of people find this hard to overcome but you see people around you every day with close friends, close family, and so you're constantly reminded.  It's always draining, but when you're faced with the end and you can only look back, it just becomes a lot more painful and you just wish you could have found a way to control the fear and anxiety more.  I guess that's what i mean by 'wasted'.