Please don't feel ashamed hun, it is a coping mechanism. It might not be the best way to cope, but there are worse things that you can do. At the moment when things are so tough, sometimes all we can do is try to get through each day as best as we can.

It's good that your psych cares enough that she wants you to stay safe. I wonder if ringing her could be beneficial. It might be something you could try once and see if it does help.

I haven't found an alternate hun.  I have booked in to have a new tattoo on my wrist, so am trying to use this as a reason to stop. It hasn't seemed to work very well, just transfering the SH elsewhere. I guess my kids are the only reason I stop going further. But sometimes even this isn't enough. I try to think that I deserve a life, I deserve to be happy, but even then, these things are hard to believe in sometimes.

@Sans911I don't think you realise how much talking to you tonight means to me. It is certainly not triggering in any way.