Hi @tyme, you're doing a great job. I'd just like to say to @Paulette that I too have had experience of a lifeline telephone counsellor not only being unhelpful, but even being downright harmful to me. It's part of the nature of those services, that while they're often quite good at what they offer, sometimes they are frankly horrible...well, they're afterall human, and NOTHING is ever good all the time. I hear you @Paulette, as I'm sure many do, they just don't say so. Even many Lifeline and other counsellors hear you. Do you know there's also Griefline that may be able to help you? You are going through grief.