hey there @Swinglifeaway welcome to the forums! 

being a carer can be super full-on and exhausting, your kids are really lucky to have someone as caring as you to look out for them. sorry to hear that things have been tricky. i can see that you're really determined to find the right supports for her, have you checked out Our services – Autism Spectrum Australia (Aspect)? i wonder if they can perhaps help you find more consistent support that fits your daughter's needs. we've also got this thread for ADHD/ADD that you might want to check out Wait what did I come into this thread for again? O... - SANE Forums

hope you've been able to take some time to look after yourself too! i imagine looking after everyone else can take a toll on your energy levels, do you have self-care/supports in place for yourself?