@outlander 

Your mum seems to help out on her terms and when she wants too, not when you really need the support. I don't really know about what support there is for you but it seems like you need more support. It sounds like your Pop is making things harder for you. Perhaps you need to speak to your mum about what she can do more to help you out.

You need to put your mental and physical health first. From what you have written you seem to put everybody else first and then what happens to you. Of course it is easy to say to put you first, but I know how hard that is to do.

I am glad you have support on line hon but perhaps it is time to see a psych. I also understand how hard it is to build up that relationship and trust with someone. Is it the fear that holds you back? It certainly does for me.

We will always be here for you hun to sit and be an ear for you.

Love you sis 💜💜