@Dimity   With all the memories I started to become overwhelmed and struggled to do anything.  Still do at times but not as bad as I was.  Still feel very raw and easily triggered.

in hope of giving my mind something else to think about I started going through everything in each room but paced myself.  Some days I’ve got 3 or 4 things done, other days 1 or none.  Ive also had some number of days where, apart from feeding the cats, I’ve not gotten out of bed.  Part of the reason I’m hoping to start seeing a psychiatrist again.  

cycle will end with me to some degree as I don’t have siblings or children.  I see things with some of my cousins that are not ‘normal’ which leaves me with some concerns but nothing I can do about it.