Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Sally_Morris]

@utopia I agree. I think gender should be celebrated in all its forms regardless of what it looks like, or if it 'fits' with our social norms or not.   I am hoping we will see change in this area in the future.  

[BeHappy]

@Sally_Morrisit's all about training my mouth a bit more! Got to think before I speak.

I speak to quickly me thinks.

[Sally_Morris]

@BeHappy yes!  that is great!   Engish can be really genderd language, so it can be hard to find neutral words at time - but they are there, adn the more you use them the easier that they get.

here are some suggestion....  'are you seeing anyone at the moment?' 'tell me about your partner' 'Is there somone you are interested in at the moment?' 'what are the things that you like in ohter people?' 'what type of people do you find attractive?'  

[Former-Member]

I do that too @BeHappy, I think it's just about slowing things down so I can think before I speak and practising, thank you for those examples @Sally_Morris that is great.

[Sally_Morris]

@BeHappy I am exactly the same! Slow down your speach and let your brain catch up adn do some more processing before it decides what to say!   Again, practice -the more you do it, the much easier it gets!  Practice even when people aren't around.  And just catch yourself and applogise if you find yourself making assumptions - and be gentle with yourself when you do! these are really engrained ways of thinking that you are challenging!

[utopia]

@Sally_Morris. When my family member changed from female on birth certificate to male - I found it easy to use his new name. I use her when talking about when 'we as a family recognised her as female growing up. Now it's his male name. It did take his parents longer to use his new name and the correct him his. But it has all worked out so great for my family member & I love him just as much as I loved her. As to his sexuality. That is different. We don't ask others in our family about their preferences, so why do it whith someone who's gender has 'changed' or been 'fixed' to what it always should have been.

[Former-Member]

I've learned a lot following along here tonight. Trying hard to understand all. I have a question, why is is necessary to 'celebrate gender' ? I am a private person and don't think its anyone's business. This keeps the peace too.

[Sally_Morris]

@utopia It is really great to hear that your family has been really welcomign and accepting of your family member who transitioned.   I guess some familes and communiteis talk a bit more about sexuality than others - it might depend on yoru family culture and how comfortable the family is to talk about things like this.   With sexulaity I think it is help;ful to not make any assumptions about who someone may be interested in based on their gender alone - and sometimes for some people it can be nice to be asked about your romantic life and relationships 🙂

[Former-Member]

Oh I see, so those small statements which make assumptions are ways of making someone feel exlcuded or judged, I like that you try to pull them up on those statements.

That is great that considering how you feel, you joined a community choir, good on you @greenspace I hope you can find some more support perhaps online too 

[CherryBomb]

Interesting question @Former-Member.

For me personally, I celebrate diversity, which invites acceptance of people with all their differences and similarities. 

We've got another 10 mins left, so now is the time to put in final remark, ideas, thoughts for @Sally_Morris.