Life challenges

[Hopeandlove]

@Till23 it took the doctor to get a line in that is working for now, but if that fails they are looking at doing it another way. There's only so many times I can handle being poked and prodded, tears streamed down my face when they were trying cos even them touching my skin hurts.

They said a psychiatrist will be coming to speak to me tomorrow but I don't know if I'll have it in me to talk about things. I don't feel resilient, I want to give up so it's lucky that I'm here and the medical team are fighting for me. 

[tyme]

Hugs to you, even if it's a no-touch hug lol @Hopeandlove 

You may not feel resilient at the moment, but it doesn't mean you aren't. 

I have found myself feeling like that in the past and you know what? If you just don't feel like you can do it, let others carry you through. That's why you are here.

We are not giving up on you. Please stay connected 🙂

@Till23 @MJG017 @Snuggles  - we all care

[Till23]

Yeah @Hopeandlove having multiple cannulas leads to multiple bruises and pain. They can put in a more long term line. It’s good they are considering that.

Just say as much as you like to psychiatrist, once you are on the list they will visit you again, not just a once off.

Believe me you are resilient. You would be so exhausted physically and mentally that you don’t feel that way - but you have actually done so much for yourself over the days I’ve been chatting with you on the forums.

Have you ever had any pets? If you had a microscope you could see my profile picture is of my boy dog. He is now over 16 years old. I rescued him when he was 7 months.

[MJG017]

@Hopeandlove 

I know talking to someone doesn't change or fix anything, but it can help in just dealing with it mentally.  You do need to talk to someone who understands though and won't just tell you to 'be positive' and 'live one day at a time' and all the other cliches they throw around.

It may not even help that much mentally, but help to make you feel heard and that you're not completely alone.  I struggled a lot last year talking to people.  One because they didn't know what to say, and two because I wanted to hear things no one was able to tell me.

But now, i've accepted no one is going to tell me something that fixes anything or make anything easier, but i can feel that people care about what i'm dealing with and will just talk to me... whether it's about the health or something completely unrelated.  Having family and friends that have basically shown little interest in me, it means a lot to me that someone will sit and even just listen to me.

But everything is your decision though, and no one knows exactly what you are going through.  So i wouldn't tell you what you should or shouldn't do, just give some options that you may or may not want to consider.  Its an incredibly lonely place to be and I, as someone who has dealt with a lot of loneliness in my life, find it hard to imagine a more isolated or lonely position to be in.  Which is why i find it helpful to have people to talk to, even if like I said, they just listen to me.

[tyme]

Thank you @MJG017 @Till23 for your powerful responses.

[Hopeandlove]

Thank you @tyme. I used to like doing gardening and going for short nature walks. I watch movies when I can stay awake long enough to get through one. I read a bit but it takes me a while to get through a book. I do puzzle books, crosswords, word search etc. 

[Hopeandlove]

@Till23 I have lots of bruises already. The doctor got annoyed with one of the nurses for trying too many times before getting the doctor to try. Just hoping that this line holds out. 

Will have to see how I go with the psychiatrist tomorrow. 

I had a dog growing up but haven't had any other pets since then. I can see the picture, he looks cute and that's impressive that he is over 16. 

[tyme]

Nice @Hopeandlove ! I can't say I'm a gardener at all, but I'm mindful that it can feel quite therapeutic to pull weeds... 

Word searches are good too, but I'm too dull to do crosswords lol

Spot 5 words below: 

[Till23]

@Hopeandlove I also like gardening and love nature walks. I used to take my dogs into the bush near me. My girl dog passed away a couple of years ago and my boy is too old for long walks now.

 I like doing puzzles such as crosswords, sudoku, Kenken. I also take a while to read a book unless I get really wrapped up in it, when it can take over other things and I get through it really quickly.

 I don’t watch movies as much now because I don’t have any streaming services and cinema can be a bit expensive to go often.

[Hopeandlove]

@MJG017 I get where you are coming from and i know that talking won't change what I'm going through. But it would be nice to have that outlet to get things out and having someone to listen without judgement. 

I'm sorry that you have dealt with so much loneliness in your life and even more so that you haven't had much support for what you are currently going through. We as humans all need connection even if it's only with a few close people. I'm glad I have made this connection here with a few people and it's helpful to chat and get advice and knowing that people care means alot.